ATTENTION HYBRID CAR DRIVERS: Are you feeling depressed? Inadequate? Does your spouse look at you the same way she/he did 20 years ago? Are you able to satisfy their needs? Is your commute a drudgery in monotonous mediocrity?

Now you can feel decades younger, impress your fellow commuters and give your lover the thrill they seek with SoundRacer. For only $45 this FM transmitter can transform your weak-sounding ride into the snarling, growling sportscar you desire. Gently slide it in your car's accessory power plug and listen as your car's stereo speakers produce the sounds of hundreds of horsepower. Press the accelerator to increase the virtual RPMs and heartbeat-speeding roars. Your lover will certainly show appreciation for your virtually enlarged engine and stamina. And when the mood is right, the SoundRacer will stream Barry White from your iPod. All. Night. Long.

Disclaimer: SoundRacer will not fool anyone who has ever actually ridden in a V8-powered car. Use at your own risk in street races, muscle car rallys and NASCAR track parking lots. SoundRacer is not responsible for any adverse situation caused by SoundRacer including severe mocking, name-calling and even ass beating. Use at your own risk of humiliation and embarrassment.

SoundRacer's managing director, Kenneth Palmest'l, tells us he's currently looking for distributors of his device, so don't rush out looking for one.

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