Open Road

Who would win in a race if the Super Bowl teams were cars?

Until the last down is played this Sunday, we will have the annoyance pleasure of listening to analysts bicker between who will win the Super Bowl, not unlike automotive analysts who do the same thing with cars. If I had a dollar for every conversation about what car would win against another on a specific track, I wouldn't be buying the raw avocados this year for my guacamole. Instead I would be purchasing organic avocados and have the guacamole served in a Ferrari-themed bowl. Yes, those exist. Even so, we still watch year after year knowing full well that the pre-game analysis typically adds up to less than what is left over in the chip bowl after the last guest leaves. Let's take a different approach to analysis this year, let's compare these teams to their vehicle equivalent to decide who would win in a fair race.

How do you determine a fair race? When I think of a fair race I think of the Nurburgring. A track that is 12.9 miles, has 1,000 feet of elevation change, and is famously nicknamed The Green Hell by famed driver Jackie Stewart. Although your Supra may beat The Flash himself in a straight line, chances are once you push it to the limits on a 12.9-mile track your brakes will smell like a bonfire and your suspension will have gone into cardiac arrest twice. So if we're racing The 'Ring, what are we driving?

To best answer that question we must determine what characteristics define these teams. Not being someone who knows more about my fantasy league than my significant other, I can only go off what I have heard from "experts." The Panthers are honestly known for Cam Newton. Cam is a versatile, fast, brash, and fairly young quarterback. He apologizes for nothing and has Ali-like confidence that shows in his choice of Liberace-type attire. Although he looks to be the favorite, he hasn't yet won a Super Bowl and the team's second-half performances are less than climatic. In racing terms, he has won a lot but no one has seen him race in the dark at the 24 Hours of Le Mans. The Panthers have a ton of acceleration, a brand new chassis, and a driver who is hungry for that first big win.

On the other side of the track are the Broncos. It seems as though the Broncos are known for two things, a nostalgic quarterback and a defense that could strike fear into a Honey Badger. If the Broncos were just one component of a vehicle they would be the brakes, and these brakes are outfitted for a locomotive. Although they don't have the speed of the Panthers, they have an experienced driver who is winning with a car that in most cases would be in the pits taking pictures with fans.

Let's break it down! The Panthers put up great track times, have amazing acceleration, and their driver is more than hungry for his first big win. In their favor is motivation and speed. The Broncos on the other hand make up for speed by having tremendous brakes, one hell of a driver who has proven himself over the course of an 18-year career, and a pit crew that consists of none other than John Elway himself. In case anyone forgot, he won the big race and went to three others.

So what cars are they? To answer that question we have to go back to the beginning of the Super Bowl. Fifty years ago there was a situation that was very similar. The 1966 24 Hours of Le Mans had at the time an unproven Ford GT40 lined up against a proven field of thoroughbreds like the Ferrari 330 P3. The Ferrari team and had already won Le Mans seven times and had the respect of the racing world. The Ford GT40 was trying to cut out its own piece of history with a brash new vehicle while Ferarri was sitting pretty on its laurels. In 1966 the GT40 won, as it did four consecutive times changing history. The Ferraris on the other hand did not finish the race as they were both involved in an accident.

Re-created 50 years later at a different track, can the Ford replicate its dominance sending Ferrari packing their bags? Will experience triumph speed and youth? If it were raced today with Lewis Hamilton Cam at the helm of the Ford and Sterling Moss Manning at the Ferrari's wheel, I would put my last guacamole chip on the Ferrari.

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