24 Hours of Le Mans live update part three
Our surfer-turned-liveblogger earns some respect for racing, gets very sleepy, and ponders whether he's a converted motorsports fan.
Rory Parker
Contributor, Autoblog
Rory Parker's high school guidance counselor once described him as being "not as dumb as he looks." His wife often refers to him as, "the biggest asshole I've ever had the misfortune of knowing." She'd better watch her mouth, if she knows what's good for her. He lives on the island of Kauai, where he embraces a deviant sexual lifestyle and dedicates his life to squandering any potential he may have once possessed. He shares a two bedroom mountain home with his wife, who is fortunate there are laws against spousal abuse, a french bulldog who's breath smells suspiciously of peanut butter, and an overly developed persecution complex. Rory has a yellow belt in Karate from the Newport Beach Women's Club, is engaged in an ongoing feud with his neighborhood's feral rooster population, and is extremely sensitive about his weight. He recently fought a sixty five year old man in a Honolulu parking lot and won.
24 Hours of Le Mans live update part two
Porsches! Dogs! Hair Products! Safety Cars! It's Parker's second installment of Le Mans updates interspersed with philosophical expositions.
24 Hours of Le Mans live update part one
We tasked surfing journalist Rory Parker to watch this year's live stream of the 2016 24 Hours of Le Mans. What follows is an experiment to experience the world's greatest endurance race from a motorsports novice with a profanity-laden stream-of-consciousness writing style.