Many years ago, some jerk smashed in the rear quarter panel of yours truly's 1985 Pontiac Parisienne Safari with a hockey stick. How do we know they used a hockey stick? Because we found the hockey stick in the back of the Pontiac. At that point in time, the poor Parisienne was only running on seven cylinders (we know that because of a compression test) and got parked for the rainy season. Our girlfriend at the time was concerned that our weather-sealing method wasn't very sound. But what do girls know about Glad bags and duct tape?

It then rained from November to March without pause. When we finally decided to open the engine up come Spring, we found mushrooms -- actual mushrooms -- growing all over the Pontiac's expansive carpeting. And before you ask, no, we didn't eat the mushrooms.

We mention all this because according to Metro UK, a Chinese trucker named Sing Li lost his windshield, replaced it with cardboard and then drove 500 miles with his head sticking out the window. Trouble is, by the time the police pulled him over, his head had turned blue and one of his eyes had frozen shut. Says the trucker in his defense, "I didn't want to fall behind in my delivery schedule and I couldn't afford a repair." Turns out that defense didn't work, and a court took his license. Maybe he should have tried Glad bags?


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