24 Hours of LeMons Essay Contest: Win a 1958 Wartburg 311 [w/VIDEO]

Don't lie: you've long pined for understated chic that only a late-1950s East German three-cylinder sedan of your very own can provide, but the price has been holding you back. Even in non-running condition, a real, actual Wartburg could set you back between $300-$400. That's some serious scratch these days. Feeling your pain, the fine folks at the 24 Hours of LeMons have got a deal for you.

In what's probably the first ever, and without question the last ever, Win-a-Wartburg contest, all you have to do is write an essay explaining why you deserve such a dignified and exotic crappy-communist pile of rust precision Teutonic machine and the Wartburg is all yours. So what if parts are harder to find than a bride who actually deserves a white dress -- check out all the perks!

• The winner of the contest gets the lovely blue 1958 Wurtburg 311 pictured above for FREE. No strings, it's yours.
• The winner picks up his or her very own Wartburg at the Lamest Day this October at Nelson Ledges Road Course in Ohio.
• If said winner then decides to enter said Wartburg in a LeMons race, their team will be automatically approved, their entry fee will be waived and no matter how hard they decide to cheat, no BS laps will be assessed.
• Think of how jealous your neighbors will be when this fine piece of European craftsmanship gets trailered onto your lawn parks itself in your driveway.
• The ability to non-ironically rock a "My Other Car is a Wartburg" bumper sticker on your minivan is priceless. Or is that ironically?

There's one catch -- the winner of the Win-a-Wartburg contest is responsible for hauling the 311 away from Nelson Ledges. Presently, the car isn't running -- but it's probably just out of gas! Oh, and the car's title is, er, missing. Yeah, missing. Essay entries are due by September 1, 2009. Contestants can enter here: The Official Win-a-Wartburg Contest. Educational video demonstrating the Wartburg's full potential after the jump.

The video meant to be presented here is no longer available. Sorry for the inconvenience.