Hummer H2 SUT: it sucks at more than just the pumps

Boy, I'd sure like to have a Hummer H2. But you know, they don't really seem practical enough for my needs, which are often extreme. If only they could offer some kind of pickup truck bed in the back, which would both provide a capacious cargo hold and look rugged as all hell. Actually, now that I think about it, what would really be perfect is if the pickup truck bed were too small to hold anything that I'd actually want to carry, like a snowmobile or jet ski or mountain bike (even though it doesn't have an engine). Even more wonderful would be a tailgate blocked by a horizontally-swinging spare tire holder, making it basically impossible to use a tailgate extender. Oh wait, look, my dreams have come true— it's called the H2 SUT, which is identical to the regular H2 except for the chopped-off back part. It even has one of those Chevy Avalanche-style midgate systems that would come in handy once per decade. What an awesome blend of sport and utility.