VW begging customers to buy Phaetons with new lease incentives; customers laughing maniacally in response

Volkswagen has sold a mere 939 Phaetons in the first seven months of the large luxury sedan's U.S. lifespan, and in order to get that number up over the millennium mark, they've engineered a lease deal of $699 per month with a $5500 down payment. A 48-hour test drive is also available for the V8-engined, "abundantly equipped" flagship, but prospective customers are saying that if the Phaeton isn't "abundantly equipped" with propellor or tristar badges, they aren't buying it.