TGIF: It's not the size that matters, it's how you use it

WARNING: The following TGIF feature is a little racy. And we don't mean that entirely in the automotive sense.

Control freaks, S&M lovers and plain ol' horndogs rejoice, the kinky folks at MINI have thought up enough double entendres to last you the rest of the winter. MINI's Canadian web site will, ah, *tie up* your day and *bind* you to your computer to illustrate how well MINIs endure winter driving conditions. Visitors have the ability to direct the leather-clad, whip-equipped product specialist to help you make MINI "assume the position" for a detailed description of how MINI dominates winter -- if you're into that sort of thing, of course.

A few of my favorites:

"Xenon headlights give you an almost... voyeuristic view of the road."

"Dynamic Stability Control keeps MINI stable in bad driving conditions. It prevents individual wheels from spinning out to keep the rubber on the road and ensure lots of surface friction. And who doesn't like *rubber* and *friction*?"

"A heated windshield helps avoid lots of scraping. Unless, of course, you enjoy lots of scraping."

Click as hard as you like, and don't forget the safe word.

Thanks to J. I. for the tip.

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