That's Driving While Distracted, folks. Meaning that in a few weeks the District can fine you up to $100 for performing any of the following so-called "cognitive" actions while driving:  operating a cell phone or pager, holding a pet, reading, grooming, and eating Chinese food from the takeout box with chopsticks in your non-dominant hand. Hands-free devices are permitted, meaning that the person who invents a hands-free Chinese food takeout box holder is going to be a freaking millionaire in no time.

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