If you have a drive that's longer than 220 miles, you can totally do this, according to the authors of Manifold Destiny: The One! The Only! Guide To Cooking On Your Car Engine. But you can't do a whole turkey -- you'll have to settle for the breast, about five pounds of it, cut into slices and wrapped in foil.
Sure, the whole thing sounds more than a little insane. And the book, originally published in 1989, is probably a bit out of date. Today's engines are more insulated than ever before, so it might be hard to find a hot spot under the hood. And essentially your food is all going to come out steamed. Steamed turkey. Yum.
But what's more insane than voluntarily driving hundreds of miles to spend a weekend with people who make you crazy on a good day? At least have some fun while doing it.
TO GRANDMOTHER'S HOUSE ROAD TURKEY
1 Boneless turkey breast, about five pounds, sliced into thin strips against the grain
3 large baking potatoes, peeled and diced
3 carrots, finely diced
Dry white wine
Flour for dredging
Butter for greasing foil
Salt and pepper to taste
Three-quarters cup heavy cream
1. At home, combine the turkey, potatoes and carrots into a bowl with the wine and cover. Marinate two hours in the refrigerator, then drain well (and don't drink the wine). Setting the vegetables aside, dredge the turkey pieces in flour, then heavily butter five large squares of foil. Arrange equal amounts of turkey and vegetables in each square, and season with salt and pepper as desired. Cup the foil around the turkey and vegetables, and pour over each serving as much heavy cream as you can without making a soupy mess, then seal carefully.
2. Cook on the engine about four hours, turning once. We're assuming grandmother doesn't live in the next town.