Christmas and carburetors make for an inspired holiday music mashup
Cars and Christmas belong together the way bourbon belongs with bad automotive financial decisions on Facebook Marketplace: inseparable, inevitable, and capable of making everything louder. For the enthusiast, December isn’t just the season of giving, it’s the season of revving. In that spirit, we’ve tracked down ten surefire musical selections guaranteed to peg your Christmas tachometer deep into the red.
“Run, Rudolph Run” – Chuck Berry, 1959
Ever since Chuck Berry fired a V8 into the eggnog with “Run Rudolph Run,” the automobile muscled its way into the manger, and it revved up an entire generation of Christmas knockoffs. Yes, the actual automotive content is about as substantial as chrome trim on a plastic dashboard, and take a look at the title. It’s a command, not a suggestion, delivered with the urgency of a man late for a payday.
Getty Images
“Santa’s Got A Coupe de Ville” – The Four Imperials, 1959
How could a group named after a Chrysler luxury yacht not record a car-themed Christmas song? Cut for the Detroit-based Twirl Records, it would be the obscure quartet’s final transmission before they skid into oblivion. As for the label’s co-owner, Henry Balk, he went on to discover Little Willie John, engineer Del Shannon’s “Runaway” and “Hats Off to Larry,” and became head of A&R at Motown in 1968. In other words, the guy behind the desk ended up driving a much bigger car.
“Little Saint Nick” – The Beach Boys, 1964
Though it lacks the traditional internal-combustion trappings, Brian Wilson nevertheless had the good sense to treat Santa’s sleigh as the baddest, fastest, most dangerously uninsured hot rod in the world. He welded together the Beach Boys’ chrome-plated car-song DNA with a Christmas mythos and punched out a brief, brilliant slab of seasonal pop, turbocharged in the spirit of Chuck Berry.
“Holiday Road” – Lindsey Buckingham, 1983
Written while Fleetwood Mac was on hiatus, “National Lampoon’s Vacation” director Harold Ramis asked Buckingham to contribute a song to the movie soundtrack. Buckingham, displaying the professional discipline of a man who absolutely refuses to do homework, wrote the track without bothering to watch the film, but aimed for something humorous and upbeat. This explains the syncopated barking dog at the end of the track.
“Driving Home for Christmas” – Chris Rea, 1986
Truly, this is the musical equivalent of lukewarm tap water, an easy-going, yawn-inducing, pop song that’s too mellow for rebellion, too bland for beauty, and says almost nothing about its subject. Yet, in one of those baffling cultural hiccups, it climbed the charts not once but twice: first in 1988 and again in 2007. Even more alarmingly, there are cover versions by Barry White and Michael Ball. No, seriously.
Getty Images
“Rusty Chevrolet” – Da Yoopers, 1987
Far more honest than any glittery, mall-friendly holiday tune is this ode to the automotive afterlife, aka the rusting hulks that infest driveways like feral cats. Laid down by Da Yoopers on their sophomore effort, “Culture Shock,” this delightfully grim little slice of lo-fi Christmas cheer proves that Santa doesn’t care if your sleigh leaks oil.
“Santa’s Gonna Come in a Pickup Truck” – Alan Jackson & The Chipmunks, 1993
This unlikely duet is built around the ingenious theory that Santa operates a different logistics network below the Mason-Dixon Line. As for what Santa’s actually driving down South, the song declines to say. No confirmation of whether the Big Man favors Ford, Ram, Chevy, GMC, Toyota, or Nissan, which is probably for the best. Nothing could shatter the magic faster than discovering Santa is locked into a 72-month financing plan at 9.4% APR.
Alan Jackson website
“Hot Rod Sleigh” – Toby Keith, 1995
Toby Keith, never one to let a good cliché lie around unattended, took a pen to the hot-rod-sleigh trope and gave it a sly little facelift. The result is an agreeable slice of modern country Christmas: polished, clever enough to raise a smirk, and safe for consumption by families who insist on polite yelps rather than genuine rebellion.
“Santa Drives a Hot Rod” – The Brian Setzer Orchestra, 2005
A holiday tribute that hits the car-culture pedal a little too hard, courtesy of the former lead singer of The Stray Cats. The music itself is ham-fisted enough to make Mrs. Claus clutch her pearls, but mercifully, the lyrics have a bit more finesse, offering clever winks amid the revving and sleigh bells. Consume a sufficient quantity of spiked eggnog, and this thing will fire up your holiday engine faster than a ‘57 Chevy on nitro.
“Santa’s Got a Mean Machine” – JD McPherson, 2018
This is a rockabilly track that actually cooks, something even Brian Setzer couldn’t quite manage despite decades of pompadours. True to form, McPherson peppers it with car references, so many that whether he’s singing about a sleigh or a ’51 Chevy is anyone’s guess. From his excellent 2018 Christmas album, “Socks,” this song is infectious and authentic, adeptly proving that Christmas can, in fact, be cool.
Final thoughts
Have a favorite Christmas car or truck song that we missed? Think that some of these songs have no place on this list? Please leave it in the comments below!
About the author
Larry Printz
Contributing Writer, Autoblog