What's that mean? It means the Golf R needs to beat the one-handed Rubik's cube solver, the GTI needs to outrun a speed beat-boxer doing his song, "Lickety Split," and the 200-horsepower Jetta GLI needs to distance a speed guitarist doing Flight of the Bumblebee and a speed reader reciting the Gettysburg Address.
Does that make sense when you read it? Of course not. So you'll just have to see it, in the videos below.