Last week, Mike broke all the rules of Fight Club and solved The Mystery of Dead Tiki Barber. Then KITT yelled like a drill instructor in the final moments of the show. It was as cringe-inducing as it sounds. Anyway, the post-reboot skinny on Knight Rider is this: it has gone from being hilariously bad to surprisingly boring -- especially for the crew that's now essentially jailed at the Fortress of Suck. Including tonight, there's 3 episodes to go before the Cancellation Reaper does his inevitable thing.
Speaking of tonight's show, here's the skinny, via KR Online:
"Fly By Knight"
EVERYONE NEEDS A LITTLE HELP--A plane carrying a 10 year-old federal witness has crashed or so it seems. Mike tries to help the DEA Agent Jessie Renning, by informing her that the crash has been faked and that the drug dealer that killed his father has kidnapped the boy. Considering this information for a brief moment, she instead arrests him for hindering her investigation. Meanwhile, Sarah tries to make a deal with the Deputy Director of National Intelligence for autonomy for the SSC's future cases. Running out of time, Mike and KITT need to find the boy before he is forced to tell where the drugs have been hidden and is killed.
SSC's future cases? Methinks there's some wishful thinking going on in the writers' room. See you after the jump at 8.
Knight Rider Liveblog
Season 1, Episode 15
"Fly By Knight"
February 11, 2009
8:00 PM Eastern
7:58: Welcome friends. Those of you who aren't watching AI, anyway.
8:00: KITT, in the Fortress of Suck, listens to some distress call. Then he wakes up Mike via a magic talking wall. Fast driving, etc. KITT thinks he found the crash site. Mike wants to get dirty. Cue F-150 placement. We find a downed Learjet. KITT smells something fishy, and we get an excruciatingly complex explanation of what happened. Maybe. And then the theme music starts.
Opening Credits
8:08: We're still investigating the non-crash, and Maria Menounos from Access Hollywood shows up to interview Mike. Oh wait, she's DEA. KITT knows everything about the plane, and says it's a DEA bird. Maria wants Mike to leave. She doesn't like him. I don't like him either.
8:11: So now we get the exposition about the kid, with all the FoS actors getting screen time on KITT's windshield like guests on The O'Reilly Factor. Oh, and the bad guy this week is some Evil Peruvian Dealer.
8:13: Meanwhile, in KITT, Mike's worried about the kid witness. They plot a course... to sucktitude. meanwhile, Zoe gets a hall pass and gets to leave the FoS. In a Focus, natch. She finds Witness Kid's mom, who greets her at the door with a revolver. But Zoe is so sweet and concerned, she lets her in.
8:15: Zoe gets the skinny from mom, and fills Mike in via magic video cellphone. KITT makes tracks to some container, which he lasers open. Mike finds some poor stiffs inside. And by stiff, I mean it in the not-breathing way. Death toll: 2 DEA agents.
Commercials
8:19: DEA agents still dead. Mike calls Maria while KITTscans every camera west of the Mississippi for clues. Maria is all torn up over this, and she wants to find Mike. KITT's facial recognition software has found Informant Kid, Peruvian Enemy, and their Ford Expedition. And the death toll now includes a gas station attendant.
8:22: Blower whine. 43 minutes to intercept. Informant Kid's mom is bonding with Zoe and watching home videos of Informant Kid. Zoe is touched. "Mike is the best there is. He'll get him back." Uh, no. Hoff did this better.
8:23: Back to KITT. EMP. Peruvian Enemy's truck is kaput. Everybody's armed. Mike saunters over to offer "help." They got it under control, Pal. Smash. Peruvian Enemy is annoying. Big surprise. He shoots KITT! Peruvian Enemy carjacks an O.G. Chrysler minivan. I guess no Aerostars were available. KITT re-inflates, we throw it back to the FoS.
8:26: Billy and Sarah and Mike are all puzzled. The kid is apparently a genius who will have left a trail for everyone to follow. Maria Menounos arrives. The Oscars are like, next week, honey. She's annoyed at Mike and his meddling car, so on go the cuffs.
Commercials
8:32: FoS is upset at Mike's arrest. KITT, in some excellent foreshadowing about the show as a whole, is being towed to impound. Aw nuts, he escapes. Sarah says it will be ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE to get mike out of the can if he gets processed. But they can sneak him into secure installations at will. Maria does not like Mike. KITT takes over the fed Tahoe's (bowtie taped off) "Roamstar." I knew OnStar had a snitch mode, but who knew it also allowed Fords to remotely control the car?
8:35: Mike and KITT go old-school... but its just vintage Mustang. I thought we might get some Trans Am. Holy crap, Fred Williamson! First Richard Roundtree, now this. Is Pam Grier gonna be on next week?
8:37: Informant Kid and Peruvian Enemy arrive in the woods. Digging ensues. Zoe and Mom imitate a Nescafe commercial, sip java, and bond some more. Barking dogs. Zoe's spider sense is tingling. Ruh-roh. Bad guys. Thay grab Mom, go Mike Tyson on Zoe.
Commercials
8:42: Eternally-surprised-looking Informant Kid is freaking out because Peruvian Enemy's goons are threatening to ice mom. He bargains with PE. If Fred Williamson were here, this would all be over already. Probably in an awesome manner.
8:45: Billy is in the kid's room now. Found an equation written on the wall. The kid has hidden GPS coordinates in the math. KITT and Mike banter like the Golden Girls. Billy gets the math wrong. KITT corrects him. We go from Retro Mode to Rice Mode as KITT makes a beeline for the big rescue.
8:47: We reunite with Mom. Guns everywhere. Peruvian Enemy in his crap accent tells lackey to dig. Mike is hiding behind a tree, ready to spring the master plan. If it fails, Surprised Face Informant Kid and Mom will DIE.
Commericals
8:50: I'm hoping Mike's master plan involves Fred Williamson, Jim Brown, and Jim Kelly kicking the crap out of all the bad guys, but NBC is nowhere near cool enough to let that happen.
8:51: Again with the digging. And Mike Hiding. And smarmy Peruvian Enemy. We find a large amount of coke. Booby trap. Coke goes boom. Mike runs in, shooting. Mike and the Peruvian Enemy face off, while Hot Import Nights Mode KITT carts mom and kid off.
8:53: Kid tells KITT to go back. Peruvian in minivan. KITT fires around 2,000 rounds from twin gatling guns into it. Peruvian untouched. God, it's like the A-Team. Now Informant Kid Danny grabs a piece, wants to ice the Peruvian. Mike tells him how he sucks and didn't avenge his Mom's death way back in the pilot. Danny capitulates. Maria Menounos arrives just in time for it all to be over. Mike and KITT return to the FoS. Informant Kid and Mom are there. They get a guided tour of the secret facility. The kid wants to work there. Better hope you get a job in the next two weeks, kid.
8:57: Now we put a pretty bow on the story by giving Surprised Danny and Mom a big 'ol bag 'o cash. Now Danny can get a haircut. And KITT drives them home. And they all lived happily ever after.
8:59: Cut to lame reaction shots of Mom and Danny as a crap cover of "Heroes" plays, and Mike and Sarah wax nostalgic over KITT like he's their child.
Next Week: KITT turbo boosts and Mike hooks up with a blonde chick. See ya then.
Speaking of tonight's show, here's the skinny, via KR Online:
"Fly By Knight"
EVERYONE NEEDS A LITTLE HELP--A plane carrying a 10 year-old federal witness has crashed or so it seems. Mike tries to help the DEA Agent Jessie Renning, by informing her that the crash has been faked and that the drug dealer that killed his father has kidnapped the boy. Considering this information for a brief moment, she instead arrests him for hindering her investigation. Meanwhile, Sarah tries to make a deal with the Deputy Director of National Intelligence for autonomy for the SSC's future cases. Running out of time, Mike and KITT need to find the boy before he is forced to tell where the drugs have been hidden and is killed.
SSC's future cases? Methinks there's some wishful thinking going on in the writers' room. See you after the jump at 8.
Knight Rider Liveblog
Season 1, Episode 15
"Fly By Knight"
February 11, 2009
8:00 PM Eastern
7:58: Welcome friends. Those of you who aren't watching AI, anyway.
8:00: KITT, in the Fortress of Suck, listens to some distress call. Then he wakes up Mike via a magic talking wall. Fast driving, etc. KITT thinks he found the crash site. Mike wants to get dirty. Cue F-150 placement. We find a downed Learjet. KITT smells something fishy, and we get an excruciatingly complex explanation of what happened. Maybe. And then the theme music starts.
Opening Credits
8:08: We're still investigating the non-crash, and Maria Menounos from Access Hollywood shows up to interview Mike. Oh wait, she's DEA. KITT knows everything about the plane, and says it's a DEA bird. Maria wants Mike to leave. She doesn't like him. I don't like him either.
8:11: So now we get the exposition about the kid, with all the FoS actors getting screen time on KITT's windshield like guests on The O'Reilly Factor. Oh, and the bad guy this week is some Evil Peruvian Dealer.
8:13: Meanwhile, in KITT, Mike's worried about the kid witness. They plot a course... to sucktitude. meanwhile, Zoe gets a hall pass and gets to leave the FoS. In a Focus, natch. She finds Witness Kid's mom, who greets her at the door with a revolver. But Zoe is so sweet and concerned, she lets her in.
8:15: Zoe gets the skinny from mom, and fills Mike in via magic video cellphone. KITT makes tracks to some container, which he lasers open. Mike finds some poor stiffs inside. And by stiff, I mean it in the not-breathing way. Death toll: 2 DEA agents.
Commercials
8:19: DEA agents still dead. Mike calls Maria while KITTscans every camera west of the Mississippi for clues. Maria is all torn up over this, and she wants to find Mike. KITT's facial recognition software has found Informant Kid, Peruvian Enemy, and their Ford Expedition. And the death toll now includes a gas station attendant.
8:22: Blower whine. 43 minutes to intercept. Informant Kid's mom is bonding with Zoe and watching home videos of Informant Kid. Zoe is touched. "Mike is the best there is. He'll get him back." Uh, no. Hoff did this better.
8:23: Back to KITT. EMP. Peruvian Enemy's truck is kaput. Everybody's armed. Mike saunters over to offer "help." They got it under control, Pal. Smash. Peruvian Enemy is annoying. Big surprise. He shoots KITT! Peruvian Enemy carjacks an O.G. Chrysler minivan. I guess no Aerostars were available. KITT re-inflates, we throw it back to the FoS.
8:26: Billy and Sarah and Mike are all puzzled. The kid is apparently a genius who will have left a trail for everyone to follow. Maria Menounos arrives. The Oscars are like, next week, honey. She's annoyed at Mike and his meddling car, so on go the cuffs.
Commercials
8:32: FoS is upset at Mike's arrest. KITT, in some excellent foreshadowing about the show as a whole, is being towed to impound. Aw nuts, he escapes. Sarah says it will be ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE to get mike out of the can if he gets processed. But they can sneak him into secure installations at will. Maria does not like Mike. KITT takes over the fed Tahoe's (bowtie taped off) "Roamstar." I knew OnStar had a snitch mode, but who knew it also allowed Fords to remotely control the car?
8:35: Mike and KITT go old-school... but its just vintage Mustang. I thought we might get some Trans Am. Holy crap, Fred Williamson! First Richard Roundtree, now this. Is Pam Grier gonna be on next week?
8:37: Informant Kid and Peruvian Enemy arrive in the woods. Digging ensues. Zoe and Mom imitate a Nescafe commercial, sip java, and bond some more. Barking dogs. Zoe's spider sense is tingling. Ruh-roh. Bad guys. Thay grab Mom, go Mike Tyson on Zoe.
Commercials
8:42: Eternally-surprised-looking Informant Kid is freaking out because Peruvian Enemy's goons are threatening to ice mom. He bargains with PE. If Fred Williamson were here, this would all be over already. Probably in an awesome manner.
8:45: Billy is in the kid's room now. Found an equation written on the wall. The kid has hidden GPS coordinates in the math. KITT and Mike banter like the Golden Girls. Billy gets the math wrong. KITT corrects him. We go from Retro Mode to Rice Mode as KITT makes a beeline for the big rescue.
8:47: We reunite with Mom. Guns everywhere. Peruvian Enemy in his crap accent tells lackey to dig. Mike is hiding behind a tree, ready to spring the master plan. If it fails, Surprised Face Informant Kid and Mom will DIE.
Commericals
8:50: I'm hoping Mike's master plan involves Fred Williamson, Jim Brown, and Jim Kelly kicking the crap out of all the bad guys, but NBC is nowhere near cool enough to let that happen.
8:51: Again with the digging. And Mike Hiding. And smarmy Peruvian Enemy. We find a large amount of coke. Booby trap. Coke goes boom. Mike runs in, shooting. Mike and the Peruvian Enemy face off, while Hot Import Nights Mode KITT carts mom and kid off.
8:53: Kid tells KITT to go back. Peruvian in minivan. KITT fires around 2,000 rounds from twin gatling guns into it. Peruvian untouched. God, it's like the A-Team. Now Informant Kid Danny grabs a piece, wants to ice the Peruvian. Mike tells him how he sucks and didn't avenge his Mom's death way back in the pilot. Danny capitulates. Maria Menounos arrives just in time for it all to be over. Mike and KITT return to the FoS. Informant Kid and Mom are there. They get a guided tour of the secret facility. The kid wants to work there. Better hope you get a job in the next two weeks, kid.
8:57: Now we put a pretty bow on the story by giving Surprised Danny and Mom a big 'ol bag 'o cash. Now Danny can get a haircut. And KITT drives them home. And they all lived happily ever after.
8:59: Cut to lame reaction shots of Mom and Danny as a crap cover of "Heroes" plays, and Mike and Sarah wax nostalgic over KITT like he's their child.
Next Week: KITT turbo boosts and Mike hooks up with a blonde chick. See ya then.
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