- Oct 15, 2008
Knight Rider: The Liveblog -- Season 1, Episode 4
Last week, Mike and Zoe went to Baja, where it was Zoe's turn to wear a bikini for extended periods of screen time. Bruce Davison's character yelled some more for no discernible reason, and KITT turned into a submarine. And to think, Ford doesn't even make a submarine!
Anyway, this week, Mike gets poisoned (fingers crossed), according to the official synopsis:
"A Hard Day's Knight" Pieces of Mike's past are revealed as a lethal poison threatens his life.
There's only one way this plot ends well, and given that NBC just ordered four new scripts, that ain't happening (fingers uncrossed).
See you after the jump in a half-hour.
Knight Rider Liveblog
Season 1, Episode 4
"A Hard Day's Knight"
All times are Eastern.
8:00: We're following some guy with a briefcase. Everyone wants the briefcase. And....the briefcase is a fake.
8:04: Briefcase guy has "the item" and is taken hostage by some dude. It's Mike -- he pulls a Mission: Impossible and rips off a mask. KITT, we learn, can also turn into an Econoline. Here come the opening credits.
8:09: Back to the KITTcave, where the tarmac is always wet. Bad guy won't talk.
8:10: Oh no, they strap bad guy into KITT and turn the rotisserie thing onto the "Frappe" setting. Bad guy is dizzy, and Zoe attaches some thing to his head. I stopped caring why already.
8:12: Sarah shows up. Music plays. Apparently there's some wedding to go to, because there's always a subplot whose idiocy surpasses the main plot's.
8:14: More Mission: Impossible stuff, as Mike puts on contacts and a voice-changer thingy. Mike passes the retinal scan and voice tests, as the bad guys stand there and look threatening.
8:15: And now, we rip off Escape From New York. Mike gets poisoned (I know it was a bomb in EFNY...relax) with a time limit to guarantee his cooperation. This is what happens when you impersonate a bad guy. KITT seems more worried that Mike might miss that wedding he's supposed to go to.
Commercial: NBC could solve Mike's scheduling problem and free my schedule on Wednesday nights for the foreseeable future by not letting the antidote get injected in the last five minutes of this episode. I'm just saying.
This may well be the worst episode so far, and it's had some stiff competition the last 3 weeks...
8:20: We're back. Once again, the film crew was outside the KITTcave with the power washers while Mike was out.
8:21: Billy excited because Mike has a pass to some nerd conference. Poisoned Mike sheepishly gets in KITT. He has 2:27 to live. We have 47 minutes of this crap to go.
8:23: NBC teases us more with Mike acting near death. Some chick now has the briefcase. She's getting in an eclipse with a baby carriage rear wing. KITT in pursuit, not catching up. He never catches up.
8:26: Whoops. Mind that semi, honey. Death toll: 1 Eclipse. Oh, and the chick, too.
8:29: Mike is loaded with truth serum. Tells Zoe that Billy one called her "The Asian sensation." Blah, blah, blah.
8:32: Truth Serum Mike is being sappy with Sarah. Whenever she's on screen, crappy music plays. Mike has an hour to live. Everyone is solemn. In Casa Nunez, the champagne is on ice in the locker room....
8:33: Mike in disguise mode again. He acquires a purse. Apparently, it's mission critical. Inside: contact lenses. Now Mike sees like he's the Terminator, with a HUD and everything. All in the magic contacts. KITT trys to be encouraging, quotes Yoda. Maybe next, he'll transform into an X-Wing fighter.
8:36: Mike finds his "target." He pretends to assassinate him. Sadly, no bullets ricochet out of the screen and into my chest. I'd at least get to miss the rest of the show that way.
8:40: Here comes the cavalry. Mike is dizzy, but he still can do the Bruce Lee thing. KITT turns into a Crown Vic Interceptor now.
8:43: Plot filled in, someone stands to gain big if this businessman Mike "assassinated" dies. Mike still dying. Apparently, there's no antidote, still. Which means there's still hope....for the rest of us.
8:45: KITT ID's the guy who poisoned Mike. ATTACK MODE! They plot to intercept. Mike talks to Sarah. He loves her. His heart stops. KITT: "He is dead." Suddenly, I feel more alive.
8:49: Ultimate Rice Mode KITT meets Ultimate Sarah Mode Escape. Put that defibrulator DOWN, bitch.
8:50: DAMN IT DAMN IT DAMN IT
8:51: Mike is alive, Sarah is riding shotgun. Sarah stabs mike with a magic Epi-Pen. Why is there diamond plating in KITT's back seat?
8:53: bad guys have a magic .50 in their Suburban. KITT taking damage.
8:54: KITT has a grappling hook. Adios rear SUV axle. KITT's magic Attack Mode Lambo doors open in normal mode so Sarash doesn't get shot.
8:55: Bad guy destroys the antidote! KITT, rolling chem lab, takes a blood sample from Sarah and a sample of the antidote and is whipping something up.
8:57: Cut to: dreamy sequence. Sadly, this is not heaven, Mike is not dead, and we're going to probably do this again next week.
8:58: KITT declines to go on a beer run for Mike. What good is he?
8:59: KITT plays us out in million-dollar iPod mode with crappy, sappy music.
9:00: Torres tells us there's a missing Iranian physicist. Next week, KITT goes to Philly. MI6 is there. So is F-150-mode KITT. See you then.