Congratulations: You made it. The end of the world did not arrive Friday and things are looking clear all the way through the new year.
But don’t be too disappointed. The end is still coming, we’re just one day closer to it. Just ask any prepper, they’re in the know of cataclysmic endings that appear right around the corner. Whether it be a super bug, a super volcano or just the government collapsing and dead IRS agents returning to walk the streets again, the question every person needs to ask themselves is this: What would not-so-famous Mayan ruler K’Inich Janaab’ Pakal drive?
The answer is more obvious than the sun rising on December 22nd: A Mercedes Benz G-Wagon: More specifically, the 2013 G 63 AMG.
It should be the No. 1 tool in any prepper’s toolbox. It looks outrageously tough, it has extreme power and performance, and provides that touch of class so other survivors will know that you mean business.
How are you going to repopulate the world if you show up in minivan?
Only the powerful survive
A prepper knows that only the powerful survive – and the G 63 AMG comes loaded with power. It’s 6.2-liter V8 bitturbo cranks out 544 horses and 560 pound-feet. (Even the base model G550’s 5.5-liter V8 pushes an impressive 388 horsepower, but when the family needs to bug out, AMG will get you away faster.)
More importantly is how refined all of this power is. It’s responsive to whatever the driver wants. Acceleration is smooth but quick, making it easy to break away from a rioting crowd throwing stones or sluggish zombies in a feeding frenzy.
There’s that great highway pickup that can take the G 63 from 70 mph to 100 mph without much hesitation. The seven-speed automatic transmission (gears can be shifted via paddle shifters as well) is more precise than a Henry Survival Rifle – and likely better machined.
The high-riding G 63 AMG does tend to rock some back and forth when pressing the vehicle through higher speed cornering. Handling may not be it’s strong suite, but it still gobbles up highways and back roads fairly well. And the interior provides loads of head room, more than enough for you and your family to all wear helmets comfortably.
In the desolate future, traffic won’t be as much of a problem, so there won’t be a need to drive fast between your numerous supply caches. Plus, the G 63 AMG has incredible off-roading abilities, allowing its big 20-inch wheels to climb uncharted mountains and cities left in smoking rubble.
More so, the new G-Glass SUVs come loaded with some of Mercedes’s new safety technologies such as blind spot assistance and adaptive cruise control. Those modern day features will help you fit into with much of society today and, after the end arrives, it’s always good to have someone watching your blind side.
One down side is the 12 mpg city and 14 mpg highway the G 63 AMG gets. Of course, once the world’s population has been ravaged, there’s going to be plenty of gas available and no one will be around to complain about global warming. Instead, enjoy.
Warrior looks
There’s no denying the G 63 AMG has a certain military look to it. Every since Mercedes began building the G-Wagon in 1979, armies around the world have been buying souped-up versions of them – bulletproof ones, ones with turrets, and even some with three axles.
So why not fit into the rugged and brawny future with a vehicle that looks just as good in camouflage as it does in yellow?
The flat slab sides and upright windshield give the G 63 a distinctive appearance. For the 2013 model year, the G 63 AMG adds LED lights below the headlamps and new exterior windows. There are also changes to the grille work (additional louvers were added) and the bumper was made bigger. But most changes are hardly noticeable. Same as it ever was is as good as it gets when it comes to the G-Class.
There remains the big front windshield, those chunky corners and four doors that look like they were taken off a castle somewhere in Austria.
It looks rugged because it is. In a test of its abilities, a group of journalists, including myself, snaked our way up this incredible mountain pass in Austria. And then, after a stopping, we had professional drivers take us down the same trail – but instead of traveling at a crawl, we flew down the mountain at more than 40 mph.
The G-Wagons bucked and jumped and their rear axles flew in air. Our seatbelts remained locked the entire way down as we shifted fore and aft, left and right, up and down. But the vehicles never paused, never hesitated, earning our endearing respect one frightful corner at a time. Tough doesn’t even begin to describe them.
Before the world ends
Now preppers my have their sights on the G 63 AMG for a future ride, but they may have to wait a while.
There is a price to pay for such and incredible machine, however. That price is $134,000.
That’s probably why may preppers have opted for other vehicles – as they’ve spent a lot of cash on Twinkies and burying sea crates in their backyards.
But even they should know, after the world ends, and they finally pull themselves out of their underground bunker, the first place they should head is a Mercedes Benz dealership, the current starting point for 1 percenters today.
See, the G 63 AMG feels like a vehicle made for the 1 percent.
This off-roading champ and on-roading king lavishes any driver in luxury.
The interior is encased in leather, and it arrives with Mercedes next generation COMMAND infotainment system that is more intuitive than ever – something Mercedes has not always been known for.
Really, the driving position is extremely comfortable and after a day of driving the G-Class SUVs around, I was still extremely comfortable. Visibility from the driver’s seat is excellent and there’s plenty of room for five adults and all of their gear. (You can also tow a trailer loaded with more than 7,000 pounds of ammo and canned goods.)
In the future, everyone is going to be a 1 percenter – as in the 1 percent that is left. And if they’re smart, they’ll all be driving a G-Class.
But until then, this SUV remains one of the toughest, nicest and fastest SUVs around. It may be good enough to survive an apocalypse, but it’s even better to take to the opera, go grocery shopping and all of those other day-to-day activities more of us should enjoy now instead of longing for in the future.
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December 21, 2012 is thought by some to signify the end of the world because that’s the date when the Mayan calendar stops. No serious scholar agrees with this interpretation, but that hasn’t stopped people from preparing for the end. In fact, 10 percent of people worldwide think the world will end December 21, according to a survey by Reuters and Ipsos Global Public Affairs. While you may have stockpiled food and ammunition and run up your credit card bills, it’s time to give some thought to what could be your final ride. Here are 13 of the best cars for the Mayan Apocalypse: Five to help you survive as long as possible, five to help you go out in style and three that will help you do both.
For more stories from U.S. News& World Report, check out the 12 Deals Of Christmas and 10 Best Cars To Give And Get.
The Chevrolet Express never seems to make anyone’s “Best” list, but with the world ending, the Express’ time has come. Available as a cargo van with up to 284.4 cubic feet of cargo space or as a passenger van with seating for up to 15 people, the Express has plenty of space for everything you’ll need to repopulate the planet. The Express can also tow up to 10,000 pounds when properly equipped, so you can have a boat handy in case the oceans rapidly rise. It has available four-wheel drive for getting over Armageddon-roughened roads, and has an available diesel engine so you can gather grease from abandoned fast food joints to make your own biodiesel fuel.
It’s tough to beat the Chevy Express when it comes to end-times utility, but the Toyota Land Cruiser is almost as capable and a lot more comfortable. The Land Cruiser can seat up to eight people in three rows and has standard features like HDD navigation and Toyota’s Entune infotainment system. Entune allows you to control various apps on your smartphone like Pandora and Bing, so you can listen to your favorite music while searching for the closest National Guard armory. The Land Cruiser also comes with XM NavTraffic and NavWeather, so you can find the fastest routes out of town and avoid any impending meteor showers.
A big SUV or van is great for people who have a lot of friends or stuff to save, but if you’re more of an every-man-for-himself sort of person, the Subaru Impreza is your best bet for riding out the apocalypse. Vans and SUVs may beat the Impreza when it comes to cargo or passenger capacity, but with the world ending, the Impreza has better fuel economy. With an EPA-estimated 36 mpg on the highway and 27 mpg in the city, the Impreza can cruise through deserted cities and towns without worry. The Impreza also has standard all-wheel drive. Though it can’t handle serious off-roading, it should be able to scramble up logging or fire roads, taking you deep enough into the wilderness to avoid roving bands of survivors after your supplies. Speaking of supplies, you’ll be able to carry more if you opt for the Impreza wagon.
All-wheel drive may not get you far enough away from civilization to eke out a few weeks of post-apocalyptic living. To get away from burning cities, mass panic and extreme weather, you’re going to need four-wheel drive. The four-wheel drive system on the Jeep Wrangler is tough to beat. Not only is the Wrangler one of the oldest and most-trusted off-road models built today, but it also has some performance features to keep you moving when the road ends (or starts to collapse under you). The Wrangler Rubicon can ford 30 inches of water (more if you add a snorkel), has sway bar disconnect for better front wheel articulation and a removable air dam for better approach angles. With some added tech, your sway bars will be the only thing that’s disconnected. The Wrangler’s optional Garmin navigation system can keep you informed with weather and traffic updates all the better to avoid mobs of screaming people who weren’t prepared.
A few people may be lucky enough to survive Armageddon, and those people are going to need to rebuild. When you need to build something, you need a truck. When you need a truck, you need the Ram 1500. Sure, the Ram can tow up to 10,350 pounds when properly equipped and haul up to 1,910 pounds in its bed, but when the world ends, you’re going to be upset. You’ll want some comfort. Reviewers say there’s no truck with an interior more comfortable than the Ram 1500. The Ram 1500 Laramie Longhorn has a leather-swathed interior, features like memory seat and pedal adjustment, a heated steering wheel, ventilated front seats, a rearview camera, park assist (so you don’t back into the rubble that was your home town) and a UConnect infotainment system with navigation.
The Porsche 911 Carrera S will probably not protect you from the end of the world, but it will make sure that you’ll go with a smile on your face. With a 400-horsepower engine, 4.5-second 0-to-60 time and a top speed of 187 miles per hour, you can spend your final hours on this mortal planet in the fast lane. Since the world is going to end, you shouldn’t have to worry about any speeding tickets you might get.
Because the end of the world is so close, a lot of people won’t get to do everything they wanted to do in life. If you never got to spend a summer living la dolce vita in Tuscany, you can still make your last few weeks on earth bellisimo with the Lamborghini Gallardo. The Gallardo comes with a 550-, 560- or 570-horsepower engine and rear- or all-wheel drive. We recommend the 570-horsepower Superleggera model. Sure, it’s the most expensive, but with the world ending, it’s not like you’ll be around when the bill comes due. The 570-horspower model also comes with an ultra light carbon fiber body and special paint colors. If you’re going to see your friends and family for the last time, you might as well be in a car with a memorable paint job.
The end of the world is a great time to unleash your inner super spy. You might not be able to save the world like James Bond does, but you can still drive like him. The Aston Martin DB9 has a 12-cylinder engine that makes 470 horsepower. Though reviewers say it isn’t as much of a driver’s car as other exotics, the interior of the DB9 should make anyone feel at home. With exquisite leather on almost every surface and a coddling front seat, you’ll be more than comfortable in the DB9 when you meet your end.
The Nissan Murano CrossCabriolet isn’t from a luxury marquee. It doesn’t have incredible performance or an opulent interior. What it does have is awkward looks and less-than-impressive sales numbers. So why get this car before the world ends? Well, why not? Look: The world is ending. Now is the time to try something you’ve never tried before. Take a break from crossing things like skydiving and calling up your junior high crush off your bucket list and get in the Murano CrossCabriolet just to experience what it’s like to drive a convertible crossover. While you’re at it, try some other unexpected combinations, like peanut butter and sushi or hang gliding in flannel pants. You just may find something amazing — and if you don’t, everyone will be dead soon anyway, so it’s not like they can make fun of you for getting a Murano CrossCabriolet.
The apocalypse is coming and you’ve spent years driving yourself around like a chump. Now is the time to pamper yourself. The Audi A8L has quad-zone temperature control so everyone can stay comfortable while hell freezes over on one side of the car and fire rains from above on the other. It’s also available with the Audi Connect system, which turns the car into an Internet hot spot so you can tell each and every one of your Facebook friends what you really think of them. The best part about the A8L, however, is its long wheelbase and exceptional back-seat comfort. Get the A8L, and hire yourself a driver. Tell him he’ll get his first paycheck December 22.
The Land Rover Range Rover is legendary for its off-road capabilities and its interior luxury. The base model comes with a 5.0-liter V8 engine that makes 375 horsepower, an eight-speed automatic transmission and a terrain response system. The terrain response system allows the driver to dial in the type of terrain the Range Rover is facing and it automatically adjusts its responses. That makes it easy for even the least experienced off-road driver to go wherever seems safest. Inside, the Range Rover has high-end leather and a choice between wood and lacquer finishes, as well as an optional rear-seat entertainment system to keep little survivors quiet while Mom and Dad argue over which kid they should trade for some gasoline.
The Mercedes-Benz G550 SUV is designed with one thing in mind: getting you where you want to go, no matter where that is. With a 382-horspower V8 engine and three locking differentials, the G550 is capable on fast roads and slow rock crawls. The G550 can drive up an 80 percent grade and hang on with 24 degrees of sideways tilt. It can tow up to 7,500 pounds and has an 80 GB hard drive navigation system with Zagat survey information. Just because the world has ended doesn’t mean you want to eat at a subpar restaurant.
The Bentley Continental Supersport features the most powerful Bentley engine ever: a twin-turbocharged 12-cylinder engine that makes 621 horsepower. That will certainly get the Supersport ahead of any world-ending tidal wave, but when asteroids start falling right in front of you, you’ll need strong brakes. Bentley says the Supersport has”the largest carbon ceramic brakes ever offered on a production car.” Once you’re done outrunning nature’s fury, enjoy the Supersport’s interior, which features quilted Alcantara door panels, carbon fiber finishes, Breitling clock, iPod interface and available TV tuner for the infotainment system. We’re not sure what will be on TV after December 21, but if you have a Bentley Supersport, you’ll be able to find out.
For more stories from U.S. News& World Report, check out the 12 Deals Of Christmas and 10 Best Cars To Give And Get.