Knight Rider: The Liveblog - Season 1, Episode 12
The plot synopsis, via KR Online:
"Knight to King's Pawn" : TIME TO FIGHT BACK--Sarah is not coping well with her father's death and decides to leave town. Concerned, Mike goes looking for her and in return gets the answers he has been searching for about his past. Meanwhile, the NSA has decided to dismantle the SSC now that Dr. Graiman is dead and they can then move forward with KITT's nemesis KARR. With Torres' permission they take out KITT's chip that contains his personality and memories and place it in KARR. Upset by what has happened, Mike, Sarah, Billy and Zoe devise a plan to find where KITT has been taken and get him up and running and destroy the evil KARR once and for all.
See you after the jump at 8.
Knight Rider Liveblog
Season 1, Episode 12
"Knight to King's Pawn"
January 21, 2009
8:00 PM Eastern
8:00: Here we go. Hawaii. Sarah hot in bikini. Pensive. Then drinking. Party girl in slo-mo. Some tool arrives for small talk. Sarah wants none of it. She's being threatening Sarah. And now she's Mike Tyson Sarah. And cue the sensitive piano music. Mike's here. Blah, blah tension. Sad beach Sarah. Everybody misses Bruce Davison. And his dead WALL-E robot. Sarah doesn't want to be alone. Mike's gonna see action.
8:04: Fortress of Suck: Torres removing KITTs chip to give to Susan from Desperate Housewives' first husband. Chip is going into KARR. KITT getting dragged off. This upsets Billy, who calls Mike, who is very much indisposed with Sarah at the moment. Here comes the starting.
8:08: Billy freaking out. Torres and NSA took KITT. Fortress of Suck is finito. Billy sent Mike some package. It's a magic Bruce Davison hologram generator. Help me Obi Wan... We learn Mike was the KARR driver. That program went bad, and they erased his memory. KITT was the relaunch of the project. Dead Hologram Bruce Davison says KARR must never happen. We see mega robot KARR. Mike wants to stop this! Sarah wants beach! Mike jets.
8:11: Mike drives a Volvo C70 to the airport. Meets Billy and Zoe back in Cali. No one knows where KITT is. Let's play Blue's Clues to figure it out. Oh wait, wrong show. Now we get some convoluted thing where KITT sends Billy a song to their favorite file-sharing site. I'm serious. Billy and Zoe use the Starbucks WiFi and work on cracking KITT's secret code.
8:13: KITT has apparently uploaded himself to the web. So now Billy and Zoe need to BitTorrent him down. Oh wait, he uploaded himself to michaelknight.org. Because who would ever look there. Laptop and Starbucks not powerful enough to do this.
8:15: Dead Hologram Bruce Davison now pleading with Sarah to stop the KARR project. Blah blah, sappy crap. Bottom line: go help Mike, Sarah. Sarah uses Tivo mode to rewind Dead Hologram Bruce Davison one last time. Mike, Billy, and Sarah get ready to use the defunct Fortress of Suck to download KITT.
8:21: Mike and co drop out of the ventilation shaft into the Fortress of Suck, which is all blue and smoky. Torres and Susan from Desperate Housewives' first husband are plotting how to meld KITT with KARR. Sarah still in Hawaii. Chick music plays. Looks over Dead Bruce Davison's things. The key to everything is in some little pillow. Billy making a new KITT chip. They start downloading him, all KITT's memories play on the FoS screen.
8:25: Phone. It's Sarah. They're trying to solve the Dead Bruce Davison riddle. Sarah finds some secret paper with numbers. Billy having a cow because he's missing a packet. The missing packet has been downloaded onto some kid's -PRODUCT SHILL ALERT- Xbox in Portland. Meanwhile, in Hawaii, Sarah learns that Dead Bruce Davison left her an account with over $400,000,000 in it. Not. Shabby.
8:31: Naturally, there's some loophole that lets Zoe get a full backup of the Fortress of Suck. Billy flies to Portland to steal back the missing KITT file. FoS: Zoe finds surveillance tape of Torres and Susan from Desperate Housewives' first husband having a sneaky powwow. Torres agrees that KITT program needs to be shut down. Mike wants an ID on the NSA guy. Obviously, he's never watched Desperate Housewives. Sarah arrives.
8:33: Mike fills in Sarah on the whole KARR thing. Zoe calls, she has located Susan from Desperate Housewives' first husband, whom they'll ambush at dinner. Sarah bumps into him (we're in D.C. now). he's all fake sorry about Dead Hologram Bruce Davison. Sarah hugs. Plants a spider tracker under his collar. Meanwhile, in Portland, Billy is playing Xbox with this kid. Kid wants to play - PRODUCT SHILL ALERT- Madden. Billy beats the kid. Wins KITT's missing file. Kid calls Billy a douche. This kid knows what's happening.
8:36: Susan from Desperate Housewives' first husband is suspicious after bumping into Sarah. He's talking to Evil Torres, who is hours away from melding KITT and KARR. Mike commits a felony, breaks into Susan from Desperate Housewives' first husband's house. He's there with a gun. And a satin robe. But so is Sarah, with her own gun. Sarah threatens to kill him if he doesn't give up KITT's location. She's no Jack Bauer in this department. Susan from Desperate Housewives' first husband rolls easily, sends them to Area 51, where KITT is hidden. Sarah's next Hawaii trip will be free with all the flier miles she's racking up. Not that it matters, since she's really rich now.
8:41: Somehow, we've gone 40 minutes on NBC without some Obama reference.
8:43: We're back. Billy has a line on some fancy weaponry. Mike, party-pooper, wants nonlethal weapons. Taser. Grenade launcher with nonlethal grenades. And a nonlethal shotgun. Mike wears special ops black ninja suit. Sarah asks him if he's sure. Mike wants payback. He's on his way to KITT loaded for non-leathal bear.
8:45: Mike cuts open the fence, nonlethally. Zoe loses the signal. Billy finds KITT. Mike blows s*it up with nonlethal explosives. AC/DCish music. Unless its new AC/DC. Mike non-lethally drops the guards with his toy shotgun and taser. Mike runs through the warehouse from the beginning of Indiana Jones 4, finds KITT, leaves.
8:48: KARR changes from Mustang form to robot form. Torres tells him to stop. KARR wants KITT stopped. Dead, even. Peter Cullen voice. KARR grabs Torres, "becomes one" with him, but not in the Madonna "Crazy For You" lyrics way. This is more unpleasant. Torres is now in KARR's chest cavity, looking like a Borg.
8:53: KITT rebooted. Download not complete, so no weapons or attack mode. KITT vs. KARR is on. KARR wants to merge with Mike. They must achieve their destiny. KITT getting ass kicked. Dukes of Hazzard 2-wheel mode. Grappling hook. Turbo boosts right through KARR, the weakest robot ever. I've seen Chinese cars crash-test better than this. KARR blows up. Somehow, Torres survives this -- it's like the A-Team, where helicopters could crash into a mountain and explode and bad guys would emerge alive, but wearing soiled sportcoats. Torres apologizes. Dies. KARR is unquestionably the lamest, weakest, Super Optimus Prime Voice Robot of all time.
8:56: Fortress of Suck. KITT finally finishes rebooting. Repairs himself. KITT has memory loss. We all get sappy about a talking car now. KITT has more Dead Hologram Bruce Davison messages. The FoS belongs to these losers. Sarah has money like you read about. Bruce Davison tells them to be like the O.G. Knight Rider. "You can make a difference." Tells them to recreate FLAG (which Devon ran in the old show). Sarah talks to the hologram, which responds. Everybody hugs. Fade out.
Next Week: Mike fights bank robbers.
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