Clear as many cars as possible. That was the simple goal at the 2012 Car Jumping Championships. Competitors were also judged on their elevation and, more subjectively, the applause from the crowd of several hundred spectators.
If you're anything like us (adult men with a love of cars, reasonable amounts of disposable income and way too much time on our hands during the day) you might have anywhere from five to 500 feet of orange Hot Wheels track in your basement. If you do, you've likely twisted, suspended, stapled and/or taped that track around your living quarters, trying to make tiny cars do amazingly sweet tricks.
Let us count the ways in which this stunt fails:
Do you remember the days when motorcycle jumps were measured by cars rather than feet? We know at least one man who is all too familiar with those times, and may even be haunted by them. His name is Bubba Blackwell. He is what we would call a traditional daredevil, consumed with setting records and garnering fame. It is not only Bubba's Harley but also his Stars and Stripes one-piece suit that leaves no room for guesswork as to his respect and admiration for the late Evil Knievil.