When you really, really need a drink ...
Armored Personnel Carrier
John Robert Patterson, a 45-year-old Australian with a distaste for cell towers is being held without bail tonight after he (allegedly) took his privately-owned armored personnel carrier out for 90-minute destruction derby session, during which several cell towers, a pair of relay sheds, an electrical substation, and a lot of fencing fell victim to his black-painted machine.
You don't want to commit a crime in the city of Germantown, Tennessee. Ever. Otherwise, you could find yourself facing the ultimate in armored personnel carriers.