Four men pull up to a Quick Stop in Semmes, Ala., in a black SUV, then notice a 1995 Honda Civic running, with the keys in the ignition, parked nearby with nobody around. (For the record, don't do this.) So, a couple of the men from the SUV hop into the Honda. Instead of peeling out in a cloud of dust and VTEC noises, the suspects puzzle over the alien concepts of a stick shift and clutch pedal, sitting around long enough for the owner to find them failing in their efforts to get away. They eventually give up and run away from the Civic as the owner confronts them, attempting to pull the driver out of his own car.
The Civic's owner wasn't quite done with the thieves yet, though. He whipped out his phone and began to record them, getting their vehicle's license plate number and the black SUV's driver on video. A follow-up story by FOX10 News says the Mobile County Sheriff's Office identified the suspect as 32-year-old Blake Lawrence.
You might think the story ends there, but it turns out Lawrence has been identified as the suspect in a convenience store robbery that went wrong the same day as the failed carjacking. Lawrence allegedly tried to pull off the convenience store robbery with a homemade weapon, but he wasn't taken seriously by the clerk. He then proceeded to legally purchase a six-pack of beer at said convenience store. No, we're not making this up.
The moral of the story: Buy a car with a manual transmission. So much of America is unable to drive one, and you'll end up having a lot more fun behind the wheel when people aren't trying and failing to steal your car.