According to Cleveland.com, Brandon Lynch, a limo driver and National Guardsman, drove a couple in a hired limo from New Philadelphia, Ohio to Cleveland for game one of the Indians/Red Sox AL Divisional Series last Thursday. After dropping off his passengers at Progressive Field, he drove the stretched 2001 Lincoln to a McDonalds at Carnegie Avenue and East 30th to grab a bite and wait for the game to end.
After finishing his dinner in the car, Lynch stepped out for a breath of fresh air in the parking lot when he was approached by three young men on bicycles. One of them asked Lynch if he could take them through the drive-through in the limo.
"I laughed at first because I thought they were kidding," Lynch told the website. "I can't just drive someone in the limo."
Lynch said no, and that's when the trio jumped him. During the scuffle the three youths choked Lynch out, punched and kicked him in the head. They then rifled through his pockets and made off in the limo.
The next day, a young Cleveland resident named Jessee Varner fired up Facebook live and filmed himself and his two accomplices–Ty'Juan Philpot and Norman Henry–reenacting every 90's hip-hop video ever made from inside the stolen Lincoln. During the video they drove around town, smoke some weed, drank some 40 ounce beers, stuck their heads out of the sunroof, and generally made a nuisance of themselves while posting the evidence online. Eventually they crashed the car and fled the scene.
Using evidence from the video and from DNA samples collected from a bicycle at the scene of the crime, Cleveland Police issued warrants for their arrest. The three criminal masterminds, who are well known to Cleveland's law enforcement community, remain at large.
Despite a bad concussion and the loss of his car, Lynch is looking on the bright side of things.
"The Indians won, so it wasn't all bad!" he said.