Can we all agree that the unmitigated villains of the auto industry are auto dealers? They're mostly awful, which is why Tesla's direct-sales model is such a boon to consumers. But as with all pestilences, the dealership model isn't going away without a lot of work.

Winning that fight means educating consumers, so they can understand just how woefully unnecessary the dealership model is. Fortunately, Car and Driver's Ezra Dyer just summed up the many crappy things about dealerships in a succinct, hilarious piece of satire.

In it, he plays the part of a sleazy dealership body as it solicits Tesla over its direct-sales model. Some highlights:

"Now, you may enjoy selling your cars with no middleman and just keeping all the money. But I ask, have you considered letting us have some of that money? It is our position that we would like some of the money."

"GM stands shoulder to shoulder with dealers, united in opposition to Tesla's franchise-flaunting ways. They issued a statement saying: 'If we have to have dealers, then Tesla better damn well have some dealers. Sure, we'd love to just sell you a Cadillac direct on the Internet, but our dealers won't let us.'"

"Car dealerships are financial ecosystems in their own right, spurring economic ­activity in a range of related sectors. The inflatable-dancing-guy industry depends on car dealers, as does the low-budget family-TV-commercial business. Think about how you're missing out on that one."

There's a lot more worth checking out over at C/D, so head over and give Dyer's scathing takedown a read.

Related Video:

Translogic 172: Tesla Model S P85D

Share This Photo X