CNBC's Jim Cramer was not impressed with the earnings conference call Tesla hosted last week to explain its 2014 fourth-quarter and annual results, calling CEO Elon Musk's reasons for the company's performance "horrendous," "ridiculous," "a fiasco," and reminiscent of "the rambling John DeLorean."

Musk said Tesla met its production target of 35,000 Model S units for the year, but missed out on getting something like 1,400 of those vehicles into customers' hands because of the weather, problems with "actual" ships, and customers being on vacation. Revenue rose to $956.7 million for the year, but the company posted a loss of more than $107 million for the quarter.

Tesla saw its third Chinese executive in a year resigned from the company this month, when its VP of communications and chief marketing officer departed. Musk argued that problems in China are "overblown." Part of the trouble in China, Musk argued, has been that the Tesla sales team has been telling customers it's difficult to charge the cars. And the company also dropped two bombshells: Telsa has planned to spend $1.5 billion on capital expenditures planned this year, without borrowing, a statement that a Morgan Stanley analyst called hitting the "insane button." And Musk said Tesla will have a higher market cap than Apple in ten years. Right now, Apple's market cap exceeds $700 billion, Tesla's is about $27 billion; Musk's plan would need 50-percent annual revenue growth for a decade, depending on who you believe.

Cramer, who rarely minces words on anything, thinks that's all just plain insane, writing that Musk's explanations "hang himself" and remind him of John DeLorean. Cramer said he loves the car, but he's frustrated with what he calls a "cult stock," which "can't be valued by traditional metrics." It's a sentiment that Musk is in no hurry to change, but he doesn't need to as long as he backs up his braggadocio.

For more, check out the call transcript, Q4 Shareholder Letter, and SEC filing.

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