The Autoblog Weekender – Click above to find out what you missed

It's a feast of moving pictures this week, an ensemble cast telling 18 tragi-comi-dramatic stories such as: Volvo doing some naughty things forward and backward in its new S60, capitalist Communists in love with the Porsche Cayenne, Optimus Prime getting a Michael Bay makeover otherwise knowns as a Bay-kover, the Audi RS5 grumbling about everything, the 918 getting groped in two parts, don't ever, ever rent a car in Miami without a Haz-Mat suit, and what kind of awesome can you hear when you mix Bruce Willis and The Gorillaz? Follow the jump to find out...

1. When's the Last Time You Got it Naughty?

Remember that whole "Naughty Volvo" that was all the rage a whole seven days ago? Well, the videos are tumbling out of the Swedish carmaker's post-production house, and they're pretty f-ing cool. They put the S60 in a range of different dynamic challenges, and did a three-way with each of them - that is, ahem, they took it to Level 3. Even better: you get to choose Level 4: Volvo's got a Facebook competition going to let fans decide how to make it naughtier. Because they know you always want more – and they're right, aren't they? Hat tip to James

[Source: Volvo]

2. Bruce Willis, a Blown El Camino, a Vintage Camaro SS Convertible and the Gorillaz. Um, Yes

Follow the link below for music just about as cool as the cars. Hat tip to Tim

[Source: The Gorillaz]

3. Transformers 3 Hasn't Been Made Yet and Already Makes No Sense

Transformers 3 is in pre-production, and the crews that are really responsible for making the things we like about the film – the friggin robots – are making the next installments. Worryingly, though, they say they are charged, under Bay's instructions, with making Bumblebee more "mature" and Optimus Prime more "heroic." How do you make a giant robot with glowing blue eyes, a massive, superheated sword and an operatic baritone that transforms into a truck and has already saved the Earth twice more heroic? Only Michael Bay knows. And for that reason, we fear.

[Source: Sci-Fi Wire via Auto Focus]

4. The Whys and Wherefores of the Porsche 918

Chris Harris gets a lengthy and in-depth tour of the star of Geneva, the Porsche 918 Spyder Concept, by Wolfgang Durheimer, Porsche's EVP of research and development. Oh we do so hope this is the future. No, really, we do. And if you want to do your best to compel Porsche to make the thing and bring it here, there's an app a Facebook group for you. Hat tips to Dan and Guillermo

[Source: Evo, Facebook]

5. Miami Rental Cars are Nasty. And by "Nasty" We Mean Truly Disgusting

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The Today Show did a CSI number on some rental cars in Miami, swabbing the suckers and sending the samples off to the lab. According to the report a down economy has led to reduced cleaning services for rental car fleets - bleach costs money, damn it! - and that adds up to cars with "as much bacteria as a public restroom." Vomit, bacteria, strep, monkeys, you name it, it's in there. Except for the monkeys. Maybe.

[Source: MSNBC]

6. The Economy isn't Finished with Racing Yet

Having had nothing but racing hallelujahs since the year began, we were due for some regrettable news. USF1 bit the dust this week, Villeneuve didn't make the grid, the Mini Countryman WRC program is waiting for an official announcement, and now the Formula Atlantic Championship is dead. The latter bit is probably the worst of the lost because it kills opportunities for up-and-comers - having hosted the aforementioned Villeneuve and his father, Danica, JJ Allmendinger, Michael Andretti and Scott Goodyear on their ways up. That Championship comes to an end after 37 years due to a lack of sponsors. Hat tip to Kenny

[Source: Auto123]

7. The Ford Squiggles Edge is Out There

This is just as much about the paint job as it is about the spy shot. As for the vehicle, though, we like to see that Ford's not gone completely over to the giant headlight, and looks to be experimenting with a varied design language entirely for its frontal treatments. But back to that graffiti... wow... There's another at the link below, just don't look at it too long. Hat tip to Terry

[Source: Flickr]

8. Audi's RS5 Makes Noise

Volkswagen design chieftan Walter da Silva believes the Audi A5 is the most beautiful car he's ever designed. We will neither agree nor disagree, but it makes a definite case as part of a tie for first place. Implanted with a 450-horsepower, 4.2-liter V8 the coupe sounds almost as beautifully mean. Audi: no more waffling, bring this car to America.

[Source: Zercustoms]

9. Why Build the Model When You Can Just Hang the Parts?

Jellio's got a wall-art series that is scaled-up model car parts still on the frames. It is as neat as it is mind-bending. Paging Andy Warhol, Andy Warhol, party of one, your irony is ready... Hat tip to Sam

[Source: Jellio]

10. Would You Like Corn Cellulose with Your Continental?

Bentley's taken its entire Continental line over to the FlexFuel side starting with the 2011 models rolling out this year. That means that not only the Supersports, but all the GTs and Flying Spurs - over half the company's production volume - will run on E85. Who doesn't love the smell of switchgrass in the morning?

[Source: Bentley]

11. Call it the "Rock It" Seat

"Dear Santa, watch this. If you need help making it happen, call the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. St. Valentine also owes me a couple of favors. Just don't show up without this. Signed, Autoblog." Hat tip to Sealobo

[Source: YouTube]


The Best Lookng Panamera Ever
Someone in Dubai has found the second best use for a desert camo paint job after saving soldiers' lives. Porsche, get on this. Hat tip to Luke

[Source: 911 Spirit]

There's a Lotta Money in China
While attending the Touareg Hybrid drive and discussing how why the Chinese were willing to pay high premiums for German cars, a German engineer was heard to say "There are a lot of rich people in China." A video of a wedding party motorcade in proves his point. We haven't seen that many Cayennes in one place, ever. Ever. Hat tip to Justin

[Source: YouTube]

Audi R8 Rendering Vid from Gran Turismo?
Car pr0n. Nuff said.

[Source: Audi]

When is a Sale not a Sale?
Allow us to channel The Princess Bride to ask this dealer a question about the word "sale:" "Are you sure you know what that word means? 'Cause I don't think it means what you think it means..." Hat tip to Mark

[Source: Photobucket]

We Just Discovered...
That blacked-out McLaren MP4-Cs look just like Ferraris in front. These were caught testing at Goodwood. No idea what the wheelie-popper is doing. Hat tip to Neil

[Source: MobileMe]

BMW X6 Wide Body by Expression Motorsport
Belgium is allied with the German tuning aesthetic, and the latest from Belgium's Expression Motorsport is this X6 M Wide Body. Like the Mercedes ML Wide Body they unveiled a while back, you're either all-in or trying desperately to look the other way.

[Source: Expression Motorsport]

Koenigsegg Still Loves Top Gear
Top Gear wrecked a Koenigsegg CCR. We don't know if that's the reason the supercar maker offers a rear spoiler called a "Top Gear wing," but maybe there's a Swedish precedent for naming new things after people who have wrecked your old things – like Saab will offer a General Motors luggage rack on its 9-5 SportCombi. Hat tip to Alex

[Source: Koenigsegg]

Speaking of Koenigsegg...
Jack Davies rendered the Porsche 918 Concept as a hardtop, and we don't know if it's just us, or him, or who... but it does look awfully like a Koenigsegg, does it not? Hat tip to Jack

[Source: Deviant Art]

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