When you growl out lyrics like "we all just wanna be big rock stars
," even satirically, as Chad Kroeger did when he laid down the vocal for Nickelback's "Rockstar," there's bound to be an overtone of schadenfreude when you get busted for acting like a rockstar. Kroeger was pinched in 2006 for driving his Lamborghini
too fast and too drunk (amusingly chronicled here
). The wheels of justice don't turn as fast as a lead-singer-piloted Lambo
, apparently, so Kroeger's (née Turton) sentence was just recently meted out in Vancouver. Twice the legal blood alcohol level and 80 miles per hour will net you a fine of 600 Loonies (like $2,000 now that the US dollar is all Caspar Milquetoast) and a driving suspension for the rest of the year. Oh darn. I think we'd be inclined to consider ourselves lucky if we received such a light tap on the wrist, but the indignity of it all will see Kroeger appealing. When he eventually loses the second appeal, we suggest he be sentenced to writing a truly new song.