Since that makes about as much sense as calling it a coupe. Despite AutoWeek's refusal to question Mercedes' ridiculous naming practices, this thorough going-over of the CLS is pretty engaging— I did not know that the CLS sports constantly adapting seat bolsters to provide just the right amount of support in turns. What a radical technological development. The 302-hp V8 gets along beautifully with the seven-speed autobox, especially with the manual shift program enabled, and the Airmatic (not to be confused with Nas' groundbreaking album Illmatic) suspension offers three levels of ride comfort, with slightly more road feedback than an S-Class. Mercedes claims the CLS is the result of an effort that has been 50 percent engineering and 50 percent design. According to the car's project manager, the CLS should attract "those who have always thought Mercedes-Benz isn't sporty enough." It's also their attempt to produce a car that, when viewed in profile, closely resembles a dog squatting to make a number two on a despised neighbor's lawn. Who's a good doggy? Who is? You are.