Painstakingly constructed out of a riding lawn mower, some flashy cladding, and love, Delmer Jefferson's miniature tow truck was filched, trailer and all, on July 5th from the Za-Ga-Zig Shrine in Altoona, Iowa. Jefferson has been a Shriner clown for 34 years, and, like all good clowns, manages the Shriner bar in his spare time. The undersized riced-out tow vehicle is just part of Jefferson's fleet of tiny autos, but it was his favorite, and he claims it can't possibly be worth anything to anyone but him. Fortunately, the culprit did not steal his go-kart that pulls a toilet on wheels, as Jeff the Clown would have nowhere to put his head after a hard night of "bar management." If you happen to see the stolen vehicle, you are encouraged to squeeze your nose vigorously, thus producing a honking sound and alerting the clown police, who will speed to the scene on rollerskates painted like Crown Vics.

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