Autoblog

A new report from The Onion details a new Department Of Transportation initiative to give reckless drivers their own space on highways, thus freeing them from the drudgery of actually driving. The new lanes will be of a special bowl design to keep cars on the right track while obviating the need for things like steering. Once the national highway system is fully upgraded with these lanes, that impatient meathead with the misaimed headlight won't have to ride your bumper in his pickup anymore. He'll have his own road space, complete with strategically stationed full-service hearses, ramps, padded embankments, and heavy guardrails to keep all those other idiots away from your close-following road compatriot, who's obviously a much more skillful driver.

For those of you that may not be aware: The Onion is satire!

Some say his political views are frightening. Others say he's got a growing group of supporters. All we know is...he's called Jeremy Clarkson.

Back in August we brought you a report that the celebrity host of BBC television's hit program Top Gear had a petition started in his name to promote his popular candidacy for British Prime Minister. Not that he's in any way declared his intension to run for public office, but the petition that was at 15,000 signatures at the end of the summer has now nearly doubled.

In light of the mounting public support, British tabloid the Daily Mail has put together a mock platform for Jezza, the world's most famous automotive journalist, should he decide to run. Some of the platform's highlights call for promoting global warming by incentivizing gas-guzzling automobiles, while banning diesels and hybrids; shutting down the public health & safety department; arming constables in order to intimidate youth; abolishing speed cameras; promoting the glory of the British Empire; withdrawing from the EU and ending relations with the US; and reinstituting medieval punishment methods and public executions.

We say shoot for the moon and land among the stars: Clarkson for Transportation Minister.

[Source: Daily Mail]