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A new report from The Onion details a new Department Of Transportation initiative to give reckless drivers their own space on highways, thus freeing them from the drudgery of actually driving. The new lanes will be of a special bowl design to keep cars on the right track while obviating the need for things like steering. Once the national highway system is fully upgraded with these lanes, that impatient meathead with the misaimed headlight won't have to ride your bumper in his pickup anymore. He
Try as they might, The Onion got the typical stonewall response from GM, Ford, and Toyota when pressing the automakers about their flying car programs. All these companies do is deny, deny, deny. Even when the Onion called them out, pointing to their secret labs where engineers fly around gleefully like Charlie Bucket and his grandfather all hopped up on hotrod soda, flat denial was the order of the day. We can expect these programs to be pushed further underground, now that their cover was near
Do you remember life before the Segway? Of course, but you probably also remember the Segway hype machine as it was in full swing, before the public even knew what it was, the media in general was touting "it" as a life-changing invention, and many bought into the hype just to be let down when they found out what it was, and how much it cost. I can't help but think that the Segway Human Transporter would have been better received if the hype surrounding it were less intense. Sure, everybody knew
Apparently overcome by the positive qualities of the 2007 Honda Accord, true-blue American crooner John Mellencamp has written a song praising the dedicated Japanese automotive workers and extolling the virtues of the well-made Japanese sedan. One line from "Buddha On the Highway," is "Oh, you noble land of the rising sun / Where discipline and duty are still number one." The accompanying video features Mellencamp playing his guitar in a typical Asian rice paddy.
It's never a good idea to try and paraphrase the words of the Onion. The satirical newspaper's articles and headlines are just too perfectly worded and if I tried I'd just make them less funny. So, I give you the first few paragraphs of the Onion's story on GE latest technological breakthrough:
- Volvo shoots for self-drivers by 2021
- Jeep spends $1 billion on factories
- Find Parts & Accessories for your vehicle!
- Obama rolls out new EV plan
- Infiniti dealers ranked best, Tesla worst
- Compare Volvo XC90 and Lincoln MKX