Autoblog

The Onion dreams up the Chrysler Reside, the first car meant for in-home use

Chris Shunk — Tue, 03 May 2011 11:32:00 EST

We spend so much time thinking, writing and talking about vehicles meant for the open road, but we rarely consider a new car for inside the house. The Onion is "reporting" on just such a vehicle for in-home commuting coming from Chrysler, and we're not talking about personal mobility scooters here, folks.

The Reside, which reportedly starts at just $17,595, obviously doesn't exist, but that didn't stop The Onion from dreaming up the ultimate in-home transporter. After all, our Lazy Boy doesn't have have heated seats, but the Reside does. It also gets 28 miles per gallon in hallway driving and 19 in a "cluttered pantry or messy teenager's room." And you can't beat that five-star furniture-impact rating.

Head over to The Onion to read the satire for yourself. If you're not inclined to do so, here's our favorite line.

"It's about time, really," said 43-year-old father of two Roland Crawford of St. Louis. "Our old 1994 Hyundai Accent can barely make it upstairs anymore."

The Onion dreams up the Chrysler Reside, the first car meant for in-home use originally appeared on Autoblog on Tue, 03 May 2011 11:32:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Today Now! interviews 5-year-old screenwriter of "Fast Five"

Aaron Richardson — Tue, 26 Apr 2011 18:56:00 EST

Filed under: Etc., Videos, Humor

Today Now! Fast Five screewriter interview - Click above to view video after the jump

With the debut of Fast Five just around the corner, The Onion sat down with its lead screenwriter, five-year-old Chris Morgan to get his take on the film. According to Morgan, the story brief for the movie was simple enough: "I wanted the cars to drive fast, and some of them to explode," he said.

It may seem like a childishly simple way to conceptualize a movie, but the same idea has held strong through a franchise that has irrevocably left its skidmarks on American pop culture. Morgan says he enjoyed almost total creative freedom on the latest Fast and the Furious project, and the final screen play was little altered from the original.

To get Morgan's full take on Fast Five and his impressions of the final product, check out the video after the jump.

[Source: The Onion]

Continue reading Today Now! interviews 5-year-old screenwriter of "Fast Five"

Today Now! interviews 5-year-old screenwriter of "Fast Five" originally appeared on Autoblog on Tue, 26 Apr 2011 18:56:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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VIDEO: Ford press conference yields surprise $650 car announcement

Jonny Lieberman — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 12:20:00 EST

Filed under: Videos, Ford, Humor

Ford makes surprise $650 car announcement - click above image to watch the video

Between the hysteria of this week's SEMA Show and Chrysler's never-ending (and partially baffling) revelations yesterday, a shocking announcement by Ford Motor Company has been nearly drowned out. But rest assured, your Autoblog team never rests (even after huffing down 9,000 calories apiece at Vegas' Wynn Buffet!) and have tracked down this astounding piece of news. Ford has taken a long, hard look at the state of the American automotive scene and has decided to do the (almost) unthinkable - sell us a car for $650.

Now, there are no doubt naysayers amongst you that will point to a $650 Ford and cry, "Malarkey!" And with good reason. After all, under cutting the Tata Nano by a full $1,350 is no easy feat. However, times are tough. And with a nearly 10% national unemployment rate, a $650 car makes sound, economic sense. But don't take our word for it. Make the jump to watch Ford VP Daniel Grossman introduce Ford's new entry level car.

[Source: O-SPAN6]

Continue reading VIDEO: Ford press conference yields surprise $650 car announcement

VIDEO: Ford press conference yields surprise $650 car announcement originally appeared on Autoblog on Fri, 06 Nov 2009 12:20:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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VIDEO: New reality tv show pits Ford factory workers against each other for job survival

Chris Shunk — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 12:28:00 EST

Filed under: Etc., Plants/Manufacturing, Videos, Ford, Humor

Click above to watch the video

The recent happenings of the auto industry are anything but funny, especially when it comes to the tens of thousands of lost jobs. Well, it wasn't funny until the writers at The Onion put their comedic minds to it. Beyond the jump is a positively brilliant spoof on Onion News Now for a reality show called Auto Warriors. The reality show won't show people trying to win $1 million dollars or score a record deal with Simon Cowell. Instead, the faux show pits workers from two Ford plants against one another, and the winners keep their jobs. The task for the big two hour edition of Auto Warriors? Build 1,000 Ford Focus models in 24 hours... with no electricity.

From where we sit, the satire is funny because it shows exactly why reality shows have gone over the deep end. It's brilliant because it underscores the apathy with which job losses are reported in the media, while also showing just how difficult a situation blue collar America is in. It sounds like an attack on the auto workers, but when you watch it you'll see that the the auto workers are the only ones that survive the 3:24 spoof intact. Hit the jump to watch it for yourselves. (Belated) Hat tip to Neil.

[Source: The Onion]

Continue reading VIDEO: New reality tv show pits Ford factory workers against each other for job survival

VIDEO: New reality tv show pits Ford factory workers against each other for job survival originally appeared on Autoblog on Wed, 29 Apr 2009 12:28:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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The Onion reports DOT creating new lane for reckless drivers

Dan Roth — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 18:57:00 EST

Filed under: Etc., Safety, First Drives

A new report from The Onion details a new Department Of Transportation initiative to give reckless drivers their own space on highways, thus freeing them from the drudgery of actually driving. The new lanes will be of a special bowl design to keep cars on the right track while obviating the need for things like steering. Once the national highway system is fully upgraded with these lanes, that impatient meathead with the misaimed headlight won't have to ride your bumper in his pickup anymore. He'll have his own road space, complete with strategically stationed full-service hearses, ramps, padded embankments, and heavy guardrails to keep all those other idiots away from your close-following road compatriot, who's obviously a much more skillful driver.

For those of you that may not be aware: The Onion is satire!

The Onion reports DOT creating new lane for reckless drivers originally appeared on Autoblog on Wed, 12 Mar 2008 18:57:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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VIDEO: Onion interviews automaker execs, flying cars are out

Dan Roth — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 10:57:00 EST

Filed under: Trends, Videos, Ford, GM, Toyota

Try as they might, The Onion got the typical stonewall response from GM, Ford, and Toyota when pressing the automakers about their flying car programs. All these companies do is deny, deny, deny. Even when the Onion called them out, pointing to their secret labs where engineers fly around gleefully like Charlie Bucket and his grandfather all hopped up on hotrod soda, flat denial was the order of the day. We can expect these programs to be pushed further underground, now that their cover was nearly blown by The Onion, so we'll have to deal with more talk of hybrids and wheel motors instead of airspeed and tailrotors. Please note: The Onion is pure satire. Usually screamingly hilarious. Satire doesn't tend to work unless the presentation is dry. They really aren't serious.

Hit the jump for the embedded video.

Continue reading VIDEO: Onion interviews automaker execs, flying cars are out

VIDEO: Onion interviews automaker execs, flying cars are out originally appeared on Autoblog on Thu, 08 Nov 2007 10:57:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Mellencamp pens ode to Honda

Chris Tutor — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 14:25:00 EST

Filed under: Etc., Honda

Apparently overcome by the positive qualities of the 2007 Honda Accord, true-blue American crooner John Mellencamp has written a song praising the dedicated Japanese automotive workers and extolling the virtues of the well-made Japanese sedan. One line from "Buddha On the Highway," is "Oh, you noble land of the rising sun / Where discipline and duty are still number one." The accompanying video features Mellencamp playing his guitar in a typical Asian rice paddy.

Hey, John, that Accord, if sold in the U.S., could have been made by dedicated automotive workers in Ohio. Just so you know.

And, yes, this is a story from The Onion. If you aren't familiar with that publication, please check it out before commenting.

[Source: The Onion via Jalopnik]

Mellencamp pens ode to Honda originally appeared on Autoblog on Tue, 07 Nov 2006 14:25:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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