Autoblog http://www.autoblog.com Autoblog http://www.blogsmithmedia.com/www.autoblog.com/media/feedlogo.gif Autoblog http://www.autoblog.com en-us Copyright 2009 Weblogs, Inc. The contents of this feed are available for non-commercial use only. Blogsmith http://www.blogsmith.com/<![CDATA[Dartz creates car to commemorate Russian SUV whale penis debacle]]>http://www.autoblog.com/2009/12/09/dartz-creates-car-to-commemorate-russian-suv-whale-penis-debacle/http://www.autoblog.com/2009/12/09/dartz-creates-car-to-commemorate-russian-suv-whale-penis-debacle/http://www.autoblog.com/2009/12/09/dartz-creates-car-to-commemorate-russian-suv-whale-penis-debacle/#commentsFiled under: , , ,

Dartz Whalewatch Penisguard - Click above to view high-res image gallery

Warning: if reading the word "penis" over and over again makes you uncomfortable, you might want to avert your eyes. First of all, the real story here is that Russian super-SUV maker Dartz never wanted to use whale penis skin to cover the seats in their ultra-lux Prombron. They wanted to use whale foreskin. Why? Well, it's been said that Aristotle Onassis had the bar stools on one of his yachts clothed in sperm whale foreskin. Why did Mr. Onassis do that? Sperm whale foreskin is supposedly the softest leather on earth. Now you know.

Anyhow, for some reason Dartz decided not to go with whale foreskin for their Prombron SUVulger, which would have really given new meaning to the phrase "from Russia with love." Oh, yeah! The reason was a massive international save the whales (and their penises) outcry led by none other than Pamela Anderson. And really, what better advocate could whale wienies have than Pam? For all we know she very well might be the world's foremost expert on cetacean penis - ever seen that video from her honeymoon? Anyhow, Dartz backpedaled, cut the whale foreskin (so to speak) and then decided to build a special Volga (above) thanking Pam Anderson for helping to save the whales. And their Johnsons.

We think. Look, at this point we're used to babbling, incoherent ramblings from Dartz. After all, they released the world's second most incomprehensible press release when they announced no whale members would be harmed during the construction of their gaudy, oligarchical SUV. How do we know it's only the second most difficult to make heads or tails of? Because Dartz just released the most incomprehensible press release in the world explaining the thinking behind this here car. And you can read all of its unshaven glory after the jump. One more thing: whale penis.


Gallery: Dartz Whalewatch


[Source: James List]

Continue reading Dartz creates car to commemorate Russian SUV whale penis debacle

Dartz creates car to commemorate Russian SUV whale penis debacle originally appeared on Autoblog on Wed, 09 Dec 2009 15:29:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>animal activistanimal activistsAnimalActivistAnimalActivistsAristotle OnassisAristotleOnassisbaywatchDartzDartz PrombronDartz WhalewatchDartz Whalewatch PenisguardDartzPrombronDartzWhalewatchDartzWhalewatchPenisguardpam andersonPamAndersonPamela AndersonPamelaAndersonPenisguardRussiarussian carrussian carsRussianCarRussianCarssave the whalesSaveTheWhalesWhale ForeskinWhale PenisWhaleForeskinWhalePenisWhalewatchWed, 09 Dec 2009 15:29:00 EST<![CDATA[It's not a Sebring. Volga begins production of Siber sedan]]>http://www.autoblog.com/2008/07/30/its-not-a-sebring-volga-begins-production-of-siber-sedan/http://www.autoblog.com/2008/07/30/its-not-a-sebring-volga-begins-production-of-siber-sedan/http://www.autoblog.com/2008/07/30/its-not-a-sebring-volga-begins-production-of-siber-sedan/#commentsFiled under: , , , ,


Click above for more shots of the Volga Siber

Featuring a slightly revised front and rear fascia on a previous-generation Chrysler Sebring chassis, GAZ has resuscitated the Volga brand name with the Siber sedan. In the words of Sergey Zanozin, Chairman of the GAZ Group, "The GAZ Group has started to produce a new line of cars under the Volga brand on platforms from the world's leading manufacturers. The new production complex has the flexible capacity needed to bring new models into production at minimal cost and investment in the future." Well, alrighty then. While the old Sebring platform might not exactly set the world on fire, it is definitely a step in the right direction for Russian roads, with a slightly lifted ride height and beefed-up suspension components to handle the stresses of Siberian winters. The Siber uses a either a 2.0-liter Chrysler engine with 141 horsepower or a 2.4-liter churning out 143 hp. Standard features include air conditioning, dual airbags, ABS and traction control. All in all, it's not that bad.

Gallery: GAZ Siber


[Source: GAZ]

Continue reading It's not a Sebring. Volga begins production of Siber sedan

It's not a Sebring. Volga begins production of Siber sedan originally appeared on Autoblog on Wed, 30 Jul 2008 09:29:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>chrysler sebringChryslerSebringgazgaz groupgaz siberGazGroupGazSiberrussiarussian carrussian carsRussianCarRussianCarsvolga siberVolgaSiberWed, 30 Jul 2008 09:29:00 EST<![CDATA[Russia now Europe's biggest automotive market]]>http://www.autoblog.com/2008/07/14/russia-now-europes-biggest-automotive-market/http://www.autoblog.com/2008/07/14/russia-now-europes-biggest-automotive-market/http://www.autoblog.com/2008/07/14/russia-now-europes-biggest-automotive-market/#commentsFiled under: , ,

Russia has just passed Germany as Europe's largest market for new car sales -- for the first half of the year, at least. In fact, Russian consumers managed to snatch up 41% more cars for the first half of this year as compared to the previous year. Not only that, but the vehicles being sold in Russia are more profitable than before as well, with the record $33.8 billion in sales so far an increase of 64%. Top marques are General Motors and Hyundai, which replace last year's first and second place finishers, Ford and Toyota. Russian brands? Not so much.

Don't expect the sales figures to cool down any time soon, as the economy in Russia is still booming and it's the middle-class that is seeing the biggest benefit. Older cars will continue to be taken off the road as consumers purchase new replacements which will allow automakers to find an estimated 20-percent of the entire industry's growth in the Russian market over the next several years.

[Source: Inside Line]

Russia now Europe's biggest automotive market originally appeared on Autoblog on Mon, 14 Jul 2008 18:04:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>emerging marketemerging marketsEmergingMarketEmergingMarketsgermanyrussiarussian carrussian car salesrussian carsrussian salesRussianCarRussianCarsRussianCarSalesRussianSalesMon, 14 Jul 2008 18:04:00 EST<![CDATA[Posh Russian community bans Russian made cars]]>http://www.autoblog.com/2007/09/16/posh-russian-community-bans-russian-made-cars/http://www.autoblog.com/2007/09/16/posh-russian-community-bans-russian-made-cars/http://www.autoblog.com/2007/09/16/posh-russian-community-bans-russian-made-cars/#commentsFiled under: ,

Russia sure has a knack for offering up the most offbeat automotive news. For even more proof of this, look no further than Zolotye Klyuchi 2 (Golden Keys) housing complex. This complex caters to the well-off in Moscow, and has banned Russian-made cars from its community. Management at the Golden Keys has issued the decree because Russian cars pose "a significant danger to the environment, creating high noise levels." Not only that, but because of their unreliability, they are also responsible for "traffic jams on the territory of the complex." What if your friend, who drives a Lada, wants to visit? Better rent a different car! The only Russian-made vehicles allowed are for deliveries or for emergency services. A casual nod is granted to residents who happen to own Russian cars, but they aren't allowed to be seen. "Don't park such vehicles in the street, put them in the underground parking."

What is the punishment for breaking the anti-Russian-car rule? Ridicule in the form of of a picture of your mistakenly parked car on their website, under the title "transgressors". As if having to drive a Lada weren't bad enough!

[Source: AFP via Yahoo]

Posh Russian community bans Russian made cars originally appeared on Autoblog on Sun, 16 Sep 2007 10:59:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments]]>Golden Keys 2GoldenKeys2Ladarussiarussian carsRussianCarsZolotye Klyuchi 2ZolotyeKlyuchi2Sun, 16 Sep 2007 10:59:00 EST