Autoblog

The world's maddest battles usually earn a brief sobriquet: Red vs. Blue, Holyfield-Tyson, Lingerie Bowl. Although the battle we'll describe today isn't finished, the clash of HUMMER vs. Any Decent Off-roader – especially HUMMER vs. Jeep – has made so much noise on Autoblog alone that we decided it was time to investigate. Not having a Jeep at our disposal, we pitted an H2 against the Toyota Landcruiser on three trails in the California desert to find out if either of them had any quit – or if they'd keep going but complain about it. Follow the jump for the answer we came up with, and check out the gallery of off-road shenanigans below.


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Click above for a hi-res gallery of the H2 "Black Chrome" Edition

HUMMER is having a bad year. Year-to-date sales are down 43% versus '07, and last month saw the iconic off-road nameplate take a 61% drop compared to July '07. High fuel prices have massacred truck and SUV sales in general, and HUMMER is simply reeling. GM threw the brand's future under the bus into limbo back in June when it announced a strategic review was underway, and the latest round of news has a sketchy Russian billionaire sniffing around, looking to acquire the marque. Happy times.

So, while the backdrop is grim, business continues, and GM has released photos of its annual H2 special edition for '09. The 2009 H2 "Black Chrome" Limited Edition is pretty self explanatory: it gets darkened "black chrome" applied to all the usual blingifiable surfaces, from the 21-inch wheels to the fuel filler door. Three paint colors are available, but the Sedona Metallic finish you see here is exclusive to the "Black Chrome" rig, and is coupled with a matching leather interior. A total of 1,300 "Black Chrome" editions will be offered worldwide, with an undetermined mix of H2 SUVs and SUTs making up that number. At the very least, they should be a big hit in Russia.


[Source: GM]

In Dallas, a businessman has spent half a million dollars to install nine pumps that dispense E85, E10, and biodiesel. The catch: the businessman is a HUMMER dealer, and the pumps are next to his dealership. The station is called Classic Clean Fuels, and it is intended to make a statement for next year's H2 and H2 SUT, which will be the first production models to be Flex-fuel capable.

You won't need to drive a HUMMER to get E85 at the station. The pumps are open to the public, a first for a dealer-owned gas station. By 2010, GM has said all HUMMERs will be biofuel-capable. GM plans to market 15 Flexfuel models next year, but only one percent of the country's service stations sell E85. GM is using that as an opportunity to open the public's (and dealers') minds to putting alternative fuel stations in alternative places.

Said GM's Larry Burns, "Down the road we may even want to consider hydrogen dispensers at dealerships."

[Source: Auto News, sub req'd]

HUMMER's image has always been one of excessive excess. While much of that portrayal is due to GM's own marketing, the people who purchase the imposing 'utes – be they high-profile celebs or well-to-do suburbanites – have done more to define the brand than GM's marketing boffins ever could. But the General wants to change all that.

Mark LaNeve, GM's North American veep of sales, service and marketing, is spearheading a campaign that's trying to show HUMMERs in a different light; specifically vehicles to get a particular job done. "No one criticizes a bulldozer for its gas mileage. That's because it's built to do a job," laments LaNeve in a USAToday interview. Fair enough Mark, but a bulldozer has a single-minded purpose – moving earth – whereas HUMMERs aren't always being used to plug mud and move boats. They've become lifestyle vehicles that are often not used for their intended purpose – just like the majority of SUVs on the road.

Regardless, GM's recent ad campaigns attempt to show the HUMMER in a more functional light, depicting the overblown SUV hauling firefighting gear and helping out with natural disaster relief. "Purpose Built" is the new tagline, but at the end of the day, no amount of PR will help HUMMER if people continue to see them parked outside the local Starbucks.

[Source: USAToday via Winding Road]

The PR materials for the HUMMER H2 Safari say that the big truck's matte olive green paint is designed to help it blend in on the trail. We get the idea, but while H2s may do many things, "blending in" ain't exactly one of 'em, low-key paint notwithstanding. So, while it may scare away the gazelles you're trying to hunt, you can still take advantage of the amenities, of which there are many.

A sliding canvas roof panel opens up the big HUMMER's interior to Mother Nature, and the experience can be made even airier thanks to the removable rear quarter windows. Inside, you enjoy the new Gaia-enhanced drive from weather-resistant nylon-covered seats, and the instrument panel has been gussied up in matching colors and brushed metal trim. A dockable GPS sits on the center console, too. While a pith helmet is not included, fuel and gun racks are, as well as a boatload of gear like a Warn winch, 35" Mickey Ts, and a sampling of official HUMMER accessories.

As is the case with the H3R, HUMMER's closely watching the reaction to this concept. If it's good enough, a similar H2 in limited-production form is a distinct possibility. We can already see the TV commercial: it would be just like the Jeep one where friendly forest critters jump through the Liberty's open top, only in this one, a Partagas-chomping Bob Lutz would be driving the open-roofed HUMMER, from which he'd be blowing away attacking terradactyls and sabre-toothed tigers with a Desert Eagle. For that reason alone, this must see production.

[Source:GM]

Looks like all those Live Earth concerts a few months back had an effect on at least one person. Fergie, one of the featured acts, has decided that her copper green Hummer is not green enough, and is parting with it on eBay. All proceeds from the sale will go to Global Green USA, which is fighting climate change, naturally.

Since this is Fergie, you know the truck's been pimped. Featured in the October '05 issue of DUB magazine, it's got a dropped suspension, chrome for days, drop-down running boards with "Fergie" cut out of them -- twice on each side, and 24" Asante wheels on Pirelli Scorpions. Since it's the ride of a recording artist, it has also had the requisite sound system surgery, with green suede and carbon fiber swaddling enough equipment for an entire electronics store. And the seats look like they were designed for a family of green bumblebees.

The bidding is up to $61,000. The vehicle comes with a certificate of authenticity and ten years of carbon credits to offset its impact. Lovely lady humps will not be included.

Thanks for the tip, Julio!

[Source: eBay]

Gareth Groves had his newly-acquired 2005 HUMMER H2 SUT on the road for just five days, and now it's out of commission. Groves lives in what a neighbor described to The Washington Post as "liberal leaning" community. That same person felt compelled to add that "It's ridiculous to be driving a HUMMER." Apparently, she's not the only one who felt that way.

[Source: The Washington Post]

Brady Quinn, former quarterback for the Notred Dame Fighting Irish and recently the 22nd pick in this year's NFL draft by the Cleveland Browns (Go Browns!), will be receiving a one-year loan of two HUMMER H2 SUVs from General Motors. GM put out a press release today that didn't provide many details as to why Quinn is being given the SUVs, but HUMMER was the sponsor of the 2007 NFL Draft, so perhaps it's a consolation prize for his infamous slide on draft day. No word was offered on whether Quinn will get the 2007 or 2008 models with their updated interiors. Quinn will take possession of his loaner vehicles this Monday, May 14th, at the Central HUMMER East dealership in Beachwood, Ohio. That's a stone's throw away from where this blogger lives, so maybe I'll show up and see if Brady wants to toss the pigskin around.

[Source: GM]

The Hummer brand was taking a serious hits due to $3+ per gallon gasoline, but the H3 came out in the knick of time to bail out the General and its dealers. Now sales aren't looking bad at all, and with the upgraded H2 and the upcoming V8 H3, the future is looking bright for GM's bling'd-up Jeep fighter.

Now the General is looking to add another 35,000 annual units into the Hummer sales log with the addition of the H3T, which sports four doors and a 4x4 pickup bed. Our friends over at PickupTruck.com tell us that the four door model was chosen over the two-door concept from the 2003 LA Auto Show because it was less expensive to modify the existing vehicle. The H3T cargo area will feature plenty of options for customization, including hard tonneau covers, lockable cargo covers, a removable lunch box/tool box, and various storage boxes that run either the length or width of the bed. Engine choices will be the 245 hp 3.7l, and the 295 hp 5.3l V8 from the H3 Alpha concept.

Production of the H3T will begin in 2008, with deliveries scheduled for the third or fourth quarter. While the two-door pickup concept from the LA show was quite the looker, we're thinking that more people would want the utility of four doors, and at only 35,000 units, we can see why doing both would be expensive.

[Source: PickupTruck.com]

There's no better moment than the day after Earth Day to announce a new smaller, kinder, gentler Hummer. Martin Walsh, Hummer's general manager, said "Our growth will be downwards in terms of size," and that begins with the now-official H4. Walsh also indicated there might be a smaller model than the H4 if need be.

The H4 comes below the H3 in the pecking order, meant as a compact SUV to go against competitors like the Nissan Murano. As such, Walsh said the H4 would be built on an upcoming compact GM platform, but didn't say which one. As long as Hummer-philes get the same gruff styling cues and useful ability in the dirty stuff, that shouldn't be a problem. Hummer insiders are apparently fretting that GM might "go soft" with the H4, but even Walsh readily admits, "We have to offer legitimate off-road capability."

Last year Hummer sold 56,000 H3's and 14,000 H2's. The H4 could bump those numbers up by an additional 40,000 units. Also in the pipeline are "bio-fuel powertrains '...in every single vehicle application," an H3 SUT, and even though it was ruled out late last year, news out of Australia is that a hybrid could even be in the works. It's a new day indeed. As for the H4, sources tell us to look for a preview of it in concept guise during next year's auto show circuit, likely in Detroit.

[Source: GoAuto via Top Speed]