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10Assault & Battery guilty of breaking 1/4-mile drag racing record

In the case of "Assault & Battery" versus the Royal Purple Raceway, we find the defendant guilty of the breaking the record for the quickest quarter-mile in a door-slamming electric vehicle. Owned and operated by one Mr. John Metric – who just happens to be the current president of the National Electric Draging Racing Association (NEDRA) – the electrified 2002 Mazda Miata has scorched a path to the finish line in a scant 9.122 seconds at 145.16 miles per hour.

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