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BMW and Mercedes-Benz – please, please, please bring the M135i and A45 AMG hatchbacks to North America. For as long as we can remember, buyers in the New World have been forced to look longingly at Europe and Great Britain and the excellent super hatches that are so routinely offered there. And while we're quite content with the Ford Focus ST and Volkswagen GTI, having a 360-horse five-door with a premium, content-rich interior sounds quite nice.

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The Christmas season is getting more sideways every year. Recently, Mercedes-Benz and its AMG performance division showed us a new way to cook Christmas cookies, and now rival BMW Switzerland is presenting a new way to speed up seasonal caroling. It put four members of the Zurich Acapella Group in an M135i and instructed them to sing Jingle Bells while driver Martin Tomczyk flogged the hot hatch around the Circuit de L'Anneau du Rhin at the same time.

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The Brutus is a relic from another time. A time when men approached automobile racing with reckless abandon by cramming the largest, most powerful engine available onto a chassis supported by the world's skinniest tires. Suspension, brakes and cumbersome safety equipment were all scrapped for bullet-shaped bodywork and testicles the size of small planetary bodies. The Brutus boasts a 46-liter BMW V12 engine pulled from a post-World War II fighter plane and a chassis from a 1908 American LaFrance

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We can appreciate a well-orchestrated prank as much as the next guy. But being the car nuts we are, we'd implore any would-be prankster to leave cars out of it. TP the guy's house, Saran-wrap the toilet, make a crank call or two if you must. But for the love of all things holy, please leave the cars alone.

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BMW 1 Series M Coupe and E30 M3 – Click to watch the video after the jump

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2012 BMW 1 Series M Coupe revealed – Click above to watch the video after the jump

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BMW 1 Series M Coupe – Click above to view the video after the jump

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BMW 1 Series M Coupe prototype on track – Click above to watch video after the jump

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BMW 1 Series M Coupe – Click above to view the video after the jump

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BMW 1 Series M prototype on the 'Ring – Click above to watch the video after the break

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