Autoblog

I recently received an e-invite from Mercedes Benz to attend their 2005 AMG Challenge. The list of activities sounds sensible enough— until the last item: "blood pumping thrill rides with pro drivers". Now that's what I'm talking about. Only one problem. All the links— 2004 highlights, dates and track locations, and registration— are dead. You couldn't ask for a more apt reflection of Mercedes' difficulties with electronics. Or a more frustrating example of bait and can't switch.

Just back from Palm Beach, visiting the US arm of uber-tuner Carlsson. The German manufacturer sells performance mods and window dressing for Merc owners who just can't leave well enough alone. Although Carlsson is a major player in Europe and number one in Japan, their US presence ranks somewhere between minimal and microscopic. The American franchise changed hands a couple of years ago, when Carlsson pulled the plug on a dead-end deal with The Tire Rack. Claude Ratte is the new go-to guy, part of the team responsible for re-introducing the Carlsson brand to the world's largest aftermarket market. I drove Claude's modified SLK350. Click through for the inside dope.

The influence of African Americans and other minorities on the US car scene has been all kinds of wonderful. "Urban culture" has saved at least one venerable marque (Bentley), revitalized another (Chrysler 300C) and forced all manufacturers to raise their game. To their credit, carmakers have been quick to invite members of the minority-oriented media into the tent. One such outfit, automotiverhythms.com, has taken full advantage of the opportunity. Unfortunately, they're playing the game old style: junketeering like crazy, drooling like mad and avoiding hard-edged criticism. Their review of the Audi A6 is a good case in point. Still, Automotive Rhythm's energy, passion and dedication is a most welcome addition to the scene. 

I recently attended the United States Hot Rod Association (USHRA) Monster Truck Jam in Providence, RI. All four events— monster truck racing, monster truck "freestyle", ATV racing and motorcross jumping— were as rigged as a 18th century sailing vessel. "Quad wars" pitted the black-shirts ("Team New York") vs. red, white and blue ("Team New England"), complete with crowd-baiting interviews. Guess who won. And was there ever any doubt that Grave Digger, the Hulk Hogan of monster trucks, would kick monster butt? The only genuine moment came when Thrasher blew up. Serves them right. Click through for more monster insights.

Wolford is like Victoria's Secret, only classier. To prove the point, the company's latest catalogue features models posing on the hoods of various high end cars. Ah, but which ones? Enthusiasts are only shown glimpses of various body parts (so to speak). So how about a scavenger hunt? Go to Wolford's website. Click on English, Collection, Trends, Legwear or Bodywear and a thumbnail.  Identify the cars and report below. Remember: this is all in the name of journalism.     

That's not an exact translation, but Mercedes boss Eckard Cordes is determined to slash MB's fixed costs to raise the company's profitability. In fact, Herr Cordes vowed to trim another 1b Euros ($1.3b) on top of the previously promised 3b Euros ($4b). Unless employees at the three-pointed star are eating off of gold plates, or Merc is about to return to its disastrous policy of "de-contenting" its cars, it's hard to know where he'll find the savings. (One guess: a lot less German-built Mercs.) Cordes also repeated his committment not to pull the plug on the financially "disastrous" SMART brand.   

After shoving a deformable barrier into 16 small cars at 31mph, the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety (IIHS) discovered that a small car is not the best place to be when an SUV piles into the side of your car.  The Ford Focus, Mazda3, Nissan Sentra and Suzuki Aerio all received a "poor" rating in the IIHS test. They were not alone in their misery; none of the 16 qualified as "good". The Dodge Neon was singled-out as the worst performer, its results called "disastrous". It's worth noting that the IIHS' tests cars were without optional airbags unless the manufacturer agrees to provide a second vehicle for a second test with the airbag. But even with the bags, none of the cars met the highest standard.

I'm organizing a supercar shootout. If all goes well, we'll be comparing the Saleen S7, Porsche Carrera GT, Ferrari Enzo, Pagani Zonda, Mercedes SLR and a player to be named later. One problem: we need a venue. It's got to be a five-star deluxe pamperiffic pleasure palace situated ascloseasthis to some of the USA's finest tarmac, both twisting and straight. A sympathetic constabulary and a nearby airstrip would also be helpful. Please list any appropriate contenders (including hotel url) below. Thanks.  

The Rev. Dr. Clayton Lord, pastor of the First Baptist Church in Norwich, Connecticut, hates clearing snow off his car. But then, Dr. Lord is not one to pass up an opportunity to find meaning in the mundane. His sermon in the Norwich Bulletin tells us how he turned the experience into a lesson in faith and charity. Does any part of your automotive enthusiasm satisfy your spiritual needs? Feel free to share with the group.

The Arizona Republic reports that Scottsdale resident Jim McCabe has devised a new motorsport for people who want all of the thrill of stock car racing with none— and I mean none— of the danger. MiniFASTCARS are 1/4 scale (four feet long) gas-powered (one cylinder) remote control stock cars, running on a scaled racetrack. "Drivers" race the vehicles by remote control, using on-board cameras and telemetry. Mr. McCabe, President of Racing Visions LLC (Likes Little Cars?), says remote racing "gives you the rush of speed without the liability… Nobody's going to get hurt doing this." Except, perhaps, his investors.