Alfa Romeo - Fiat Chairman Sergio Marchionne recently announced that the company's new Alfa Romeo SUV will be named the Stelvio. However we now know that due to his accent Marchionne was misquoted and the SUV will actually be know as the Alfa Romeo Stevia. Marchionne said, "SUV's are known for being heavy and poor handling, we want people to know that our product will be light yet sweet!"
Lamborghini - In other misnamed product news, Lamborghini sent out a correction to earlier press releases which stated their new model celebrating founder Ferruccio Lamborghini's 100th Birthday would be named Centenario. It turns out that the original name Centenario did not test well with the marques focus groups, instead the rather elderly and very wealthy clientele of Lamborghini have chosen the name Lamborghini Octogenarian. "It is an unfortunate name", said a Lamborghini spokesperson, "but you try arguing with those people."
Mazda - A Mazda executive recently broke down during a monthly sales press conference, the clearly emotional executive sobbed "our cars are so much nicer than Toyota's and Honda's, why oh why won't people buy our nicer cars?"
Maserati - Now that Maserati has unveiled the Levante SUV to compete with the Porsche Cajenne it will next be setting a target for the recently announced 2017 Porsche Cajennavan Minivan. While details of the Maserati minivan remain slim, it's reported that it will continue the naming convention started with Quattroporte sedan. The five door eight seat Maserati Cinque Porte Otto Sede should be available starting in 2018. Asked about the name, Maserati PR stated other names were considered, however we felt that Maserati Cinque Porte Otto Sede sort of rolled off the tongue.
Volkswagen - Volkswagen has decided to step up their advertising budget in the wake of the diesel emissions controversy. Volkswagen will be apportioning large amounts of their 2016 budget to television advertising with the first new ads set to air during the popular ABC TV show Scandal. "Uh, so, yeah, um, well, Scandal seemed like a natural fit" said a Volkswagen spokesperson.
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