As published on Gas 2.0 and copied for your reading pleasure below, the screed claims that a number of Senators and White House staffers were bribed to allow the "toxic tesla crime-mobile" on the street. You know, the one that "is full of lies and cancer causing material." And there's also this bombshell: "Some of the people involved have worked at Tesla and claim to have witnessed: 'Organized crime on a first hand basis.'" Well, then, let's call the cops right this moment.
But wait, the conspiracy runs deep, apparently, "Members found out that major media outlet owners (Engadget, Google, AUTOBLOG GREEN [sic], Gizmodo, Jalopnik, etc.) had stock in the Tesla and battery cartels and, thus, covered up the first investigation results." For the record, none of us here at AutoblogGreen have or are allowed to have Tesla stock, so we can knock that rumor down right now. But let's not let the facts get in the way of a good story.
All in all, this little tirade isn't nearly as good as the last one, but we'll take this sort of creative fiction any day. The truth is out there.
BORN IN BRIBES AND CORRUPTION, FORGED IN FIRES, AND MORE FIRES, AND STILL MORE FIRES AND SOME EXPLOSIONS, THE TOXIC TESLA CRIME-MOBILE THAT YOU ARE DRIVING IS FULL OF LIES AND CANCER CAUSING MATERIAL. WE WANTED YOU TO KNOW THAT THE LOOK ON PEOPLE'S FACES, WHEN YOU DRIVE BY, MAY NOT BE ENVY BUT, RATHER: DISGUST!
BRIBED: 5 Senators, 8 Senior Agency Staff and 2 White House Staff.
Why do "YOU" want to be a part of that? Let's examine the facts and details ...
... Some of the people involved have worked at Tesla and claim to have witnessed: "Organized crime on a first hand basis."
Two members have subscriptions to the Axciom Privacy Abuse database. They thought: "hmmm, why not use something evil for good purposes by helping to inform, and save, hapless Tesla owners who got screwed during the information Green-wash!"
Members found out that major media outlet owners (Engadget, Google, AUTOBLOG GREEN, Gizmodo, Jalopnik, etc.) had stock in the Tesla and battery cartels and, thus, covered up the first investigation results.
They want to clean the market more completely than an email "accident" on an IRS Hard Drive.
Does that sound like a big project? It isn't! After nearly a decade and billions of dollars of your tax money, Tesla has only sold .5% of the cars that their competing electric, or gas cars have sold for the same investments in time and dollars. Nobody wants a Tesla except Tesla's investors and douche-bag surgeons who then crash them and kill people. So, relatively speaking, there are not that many people to hunt down.