We can say this for 25-year old Albuquerque, NM resident Luis Briones: this is a man that doesn't want the party to end. A report from the Albuquerque Journal would seem to indicate that Mr. Briones is having a very bad week, after risking his life, his female passenger's life and the lives of more than a few motorists on Monday evening.
Here's the order of events, as laid out by the utterly bizarre report: Briones, who was later confirmed (in many ways) to be "clearly" intoxicated, ran a red light and struck an oncoming car. The crash caused his naked female passenger to be ejected from the vehicle, with deep cuts to her face and head.

The fact of the woman's nakedness makes more sense when you take into account that "Mr. Briones was observed to be having sexual intercourse with the passenger" according to a police officer quoted by the Albuquerque Journal.

Immediately after the crash, Briones attempted to drive off, but a witness to the accident (and minor hero) grabbed the keys from his car's ignition. The man then fled on foot and was eventually located by police, "...with one shoe on and his shorts inside out ... hiding in a cactus." Again, as reported by AJ. From the cover of the cactus, Briones apparently refused demands of police and exhibited hostility towards paramedics; after managing to get him in the police cruiser, officials say that the man also refused to keep his pants on.

Yep, that's a bad night.

Briones now faces charges of aggravated DWI, reckless driving and evading police.


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    • 1 Second Ago
  • 39 Comments
      Judyz
      • 1 Year Ago
      Let's just hope he was using protection (not just a seat belt). Since neither of the parties in this affair should be contributing to the future gene pool of this species.
        Brodz
        • 1 Year Ago
        @Judyz
        Hopefully the Cactus did it's part in that as well.
      Chris
      • 1 Year Ago
      Although driving and having sex can both be a lot of fun, I don't see how doing them at the same time could be in any way enjoyable. I love pizza and I love ice cream, but I don't think eating them both at the same time is a good idea. It's the same here. I mean, why didn't he just do what a normal idiot does, and pull up behind a Best Buy or an abandoned KMart, and bang her there? Seriously, this story kind of makes me think of the episode of 'Seinfeld' where George Castanza tried to make a sandwich and watch tv while having sex.
      Brodz
      • 1 Year Ago
      No need to see the Hang Over part three.
      VDuB
      • 1 Year Ago
      How do you even start the "Dude, what happened last night?"
      wooootles
      • 1 Year Ago
      BUD LIGHT PRESENTS: REAL MEN OF GENIUS Reaall Men off Geenniaaaas Mister Having Sex as a Drunk Driverrr!!!
      wilkegm
      • 1 Year Ago
      The sad part (aside from any injuries & damage in the other vehicle) is the poor woman who was deperate enough to have sex with this dude in the first place... in a moving car... high as hell...
      avconsumer2
      • 1 Year Ago
      So don't drink and drive... ...and have sex... ...then hide in a cactus.
      lostjr123
      • 1 Year Ago
      Scene from the latest _Hangover_ movie?
      interruptive_cow
      • 1 Year Ago
      ...the Aristocrats!
      sfblog
      • 1 Year Ago
      What a prick
      • 1 Year Ago
      [blocked]
      benjammin172
      • 1 Year Ago
      hell of a multi-tasker though
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