The End Of The World Didn't Happen (Yet): But Mercedes is Ready
New G 63 AMG Can Take on Zombies, Volcanos and Rioters
But don't be too disappointed. The end is still coming, we're just one day closer to it. Just ask any prepper, they're in the know of cataclysmic endings that appear right around the corner. Whether it be a super bug, a super volcano or just the government collapsing and dead IRS agents returning to walk the streets again, the question every person needs to ask themselves is this: What would not-so-famous Mayan ruler K'Inich Janaab' Pakal drive?
The answer is more obvious than the sun rising on December 22nd: A Mercedes Benz G-Wagon: More specifically, the 2013 G 63 AMG.
It should be the No. 1 tool in any prepper's toolbox. It looks outrageously tough, it has extreme power and performance, and provides that touch of class so other survivors will know that you mean business.
How are you going to repopulate the world if you show up in minivan?
Only the powerful survive
A prepper knows that only the powerful survive – and the G 63 AMG comes loaded with power. It's 6.2-liter V8 bitturbo cranks out 544 horses and 560 pound-feet. (Even the base model G550's 5.5-liter V8 pushes an impressive 388 horsepower, but when the family needs to bug out, AMG will get you away faster.)
More importantly is how refined all of this power is. It's responsive to whatever the driver wants. Acceleration is smooth but quick, making it easy to break away from a rioting crowd throwing stones or sluggish zombies in a feeding frenzy.
There's that great highway pickup that can take the G 63 from 70 mph to 100 mph without much hesitation. The seven-speed automatic transmission (gears can be shifted via paddle shifters as well) is more precise than a Henry Survival Rifle – and likely better machined.
The high-riding G 63 AMG does tend to rock some back and forth when pressing the vehicle through higher speed cornering. Handling may not be it's strong suite, but it still gobbles up highways and back roads fairly well. And the interior provides loads of head room, more than enough for you and your family to all wear helmets comfortably.
In the desolate future, traffic won't be as much of a problem, so there won't be a need to drive fast between your numerous supply caches. Plus, the G 63 AMG has incredible off-roading abilities, allowing its big 20-inch wheels to climb uncharted mountains and cities left in smoking rubble.
More so, the new G-Glass SUVs come loaded with some of Mercedes's new safety technologies such as blind spot assistance and adaptive cruise control. Those modern day features will help you fit into with much of society today and, after the end arrives, it's always good to have someone watching your blind side.
One down side is the 12 mpg city and 14 mpg highway the G 63 AMG gets. Of course, once the world's population has been ravaged, there's going to be plenty of gas available and no one will be around to complain about global warming. Instead, enjoy.
There's no denying the G 63 AMG has a certain military look to it. Every since Mercedes began building the G-Wagon in 1979, armies around the world have been buying souped-up versions of them – bulletproof ones, ones with turrets, and even some with three axles.
So why not fit into the rugged and brawny future with a vehicle that looks just as good in camouflage as it does in yellow?
The flat slab sides and upright windshield give the G 63 a distinctive appearance. For the 2013 model year, the G 63 AMG adds LED lights below the headlamps and new exterior windows. There are also changes to the grille work (additional louvers were added) and the bumper was made bigger. But most changes are hardly noticeable. Same as it ever was is as good as it gets when it comes to the G-Class.
There remains the big front windshield, those chunky corners and four doors that look like they were taken off a castle somewhere in Austria.
It looks rugged because it is. In a test of its abilities, a group of journalists, including myself, snaked our way up this incredible mountain pass in Austria. And then, after a stopping, we had professional drivers take us down the same trail – but instead of traveling at a crawl, we flew down the mountain at more than 40 mph.
The G-Wagons bucked and jumped and their rear axles flew in air. Our seatbelts remained locked the entire way down as we shifted fore and aft, left and right, up and down. But the vehicles never paused, never hesitated, earning our endearing respect one frightful corner at a time. Tough doesn't even begin to describe them.
Before the world ends
Now preppers my have their sights on the G 63 AMG for a future ride, but they may have to wait a while.
There is a price to pay for such and incredible machine, however. That price is $134,000.
That's probably why may preppers have opted for other vehicles – as they've spent a lot of cash on Twinkies and burying sea crates in their backyards.
But even they should know, after the world ends, and they finally pull themselves out of their underground bunker, the first place they should head is a Mercedes Benz dealership, the current starting point for 1 percenters today.
See, the G 63 AMG feels like a vehicle made for the 1 percent.
This off-roading champ and on-roading king lavishes any driver in luxury.
The interior is encased in leather, and it arrives with Mercedes next generation COMMAND infotainment system that is more intuitive than ever – something Mercedes has not always been known for.
Really, the driving position is extremely comfortable and after a day of driving the G-Class SUVs around, I was still extremely comfortable. Visibility from the driver's seat is excellent and there's plenty of room for five adults and all of their gear. (You can also tow a trailer loaded with more than 7,000 pounds of ammo and canned goods.)
In the future, everyone is going to be a 1 percenter – as in the 1 percent that is left. And if they're smart, they'll all be driving a G-Class.
But until then, this SUV remains one of the toughest, nicest and fastest SUVs around. It may be good enough to survive an apocalypse, but it's even better to take to the opera, go grocery shopping and all of those other day-to-day activities more of us should enjoy now instead of longing for in the future.
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