This was the kind of understatement we didn't expect to encounter in the Lone Star State: on our way into Austin to attend the Grand Prix of the Americas, the man sitting next to us on the plane – an Austinite born and raised – said, "There's gonna be a lot of wealthy people here." You know, as if Texas didn't have its fair share already.

Wealthy people need wealthy things to do and not-as-wealthy people to arrange such things for them. Case in point is My Yacht Club, which follows the Formula 1 parade and other rah-rah events around the globe, hosting guests and parties on yachts. In Austin the event group has had to change its schtick; there's no way to navigate one 150-foot motor yacht into Austin's Lady Bird Lake. MYC principal Nicholas Frankl told KUT News, "We spoke to the Army Air Corps. They couldn't lift it." We believe he meant the Army Corps of Engineers, but no matter, they couldn't lift it either.

So MYC has switched to a land-lubbers venue, The Long Center where Ballet Austin, the opera and the symphony perform. In case you readers are worried about how guests will manage without chiseled Italian deckhands in epaulets, not only has Frankl promised that "the elements of decadence and luxury and coolness and exclusivity are all there," guests will get to guzzle 24-karat gold-infused champagne. Because the stars at night just aren't as big and bright without it, obviously.