Let's make this clear from the get-go: we know this is satire, courtesy of The Onion. Of course, like all good comedy, the idea for the new, fictional Toyota Prius Solution model contains a grain of truth. After all, if you aren't alive, you really can't add to the world's environmental problems any more. Any questions?

Obviously a riff on the whole "Pious" side of the Prius-driver stereotype as well as taking blind environmentalism to its logical extreme, the Prius Solution manages to put a bloody twist on the Prius "family" branding that the automaker has been promoting since early 2010. It's kind of gross, so you've been warned.

That said, anyone who's been punctured backbone-to-sternum also can't work to solve world's environmental problems, but that's a discussion for another time. Enough talk. Check out the video below.



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    • 1 Second Ago
  • 38 Comments
      sirvixisvexed
      • 2 Years Ago
      HAHAHA. Helarious video, I have a special place inside for sick sarcastic humor. I think the concept which contains the mentioned "grain of truth" is unfortunately a nagging thought (not a nagging *truth*) for many and is not necessarily spoken by the person directly but evident in how they treat themselves and their minds and their time, and how they view society and humanity itself. The thought of humanity as a disease has been around for centuries, and is uber present in theatrical culture like TV shows and movies. Funny, dated examples, but think the black glasses guy from independence day with his drunken human hating rage, or agent smith's big speech in the matrix when he had morpheus captive; millions of wrist slitting life-hating humans (not a reference to abortion, lolz) were indulging in their self loathing as they listened to their self-hating creeds come alive on screen. Though the problem of treating oneself like sh!t and also believing that oneself is sh!t is, I think in many cases, an earlier problem than believing that humanity is a disease. With many, it is convenient to believe that humanity is a gross disease because it supports the existence of a sloppy or lazy or "I just don't care" lifestyle. Next time you think about whether it is better to be a human hater or a believe in a prosperous future, remember everything useful that was ever invented or built, thus everything you enjoy, was thought of and made by people who actually wanted a better future where people still exist. People don't starve because there isn't enough food or land to grow. The planet is heating up because of sh!tty practices, not inherent traits. I think that if one has a dedication to objective truth that they will come to understand that the actions of a given society at a given time are based on that society's social system and habits, (somewhat deeply ingrained but changeable) and are not inherent traits of a being itself. One should logically develop the want to strive for human habits that are smart and balance the environmental relationship, (and many do) not simply desire to be dead; the easy/lazy way out. Also I think we need to get away from the thought that nature itself is a land of justice and harmony. If animals could talk, they'd talk about being stolen from, terrorized, and having their children eaten. So while it brings environmental equilibrium to have more green things growing to suck up more carbon, it is not an inherent moral positive to have land occupied by primitive life versus humans, no matter how happy we project the animals to be. It also shouldn't take being religious to like humanity. The way one views nature and humanity are pretty important (obviously) though most talk just dances around or jokes about it, and few care enough to spend the time to refine their views as they go through life, because that would require a believe system based on wanting objective truth, truth whether convenient or not.
      Rick
      • 2 Years Ago
      Buy a nice bike like a bike like our Bradley Wiggins win the Tour De France lots of gold medals whilst not polluting. Gotta say l have never had the urge to be a self righteous turd who drives a Toyota Prius, l would rather be dead than own a Prius.
      Fons Jena
      • 2 Years Ago
      Probably not many people will see the message that is hidden in this 'commercial': have no children or at least max your offspring at 2. And I love the video. Yours sincerely, Mother Nature
      Ryan
      • 2 Years Ago
      I'm sure it is funny, but how many people have run the numbers? To keep a human alive they exhale about 1kg/day (2.2 lbs). Since there are 7 billion of us and 365 days a year = 2,555,000,000,000 kg or 2,555,000,000 tonnes = 2,555 million tonnes. From wiki: It is estimated that volcanoes release about 130–230 million tonnes (145–255 million tons) of CO2 into the atmosphere each year. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_carbon_dioxide_emissions Worldwide, we industrial humans are creating 29,888,121,000 tonnes or 29,888 million tonnes. The environment can only handle 17,000 million tonnes a year, so we are carrying over excess CO2 from year to year. http://www.skepticalscience.com/images/Carbon_Cycle.gif Killing off everyone who is only contributing to the CO2 count by breathing won't reduce the 29,888 million tonnes number below 16,000 million tonnes to get worldwide CO2 ppm levels to start declining. http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/news/global-warmings-terrifying-new-math-20120719 This is a good article
      upstategreenie
      • 2 Years Ago
      it is kind of stupid to ignore what pollution we are causing and then expect we will all survive driving prii/priuses. if you have no food or water you can feel really great saving planet but you still have to have food water and a house which isn't on f98re or washing downstream or blown away in tornado. I drive a prius. I love it. I know they are now very popular here and every other person has some variant now. but we still have du89shits negating good things as well....and unfortunately with 300000000 americans, it takes relatively few to really f8( sh!t up now. and cash for clunkers was total failure. and surprised rawmoney hasn't yet latched onto this was a giveway to polluting hemis to buy a newer escalade basically and get five grand they didn't need anyway for doing it.
      Dave
      • 2 Years Ago
      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Voluntary_Human_Extinction_Movement "The Voluntary Human Extinction Movement (VHEMT[A]) is an environmental movement that calls for all people to abstain from reproduction to cause the gradual voluntary extinction of humankind. VHEMT supports human extinction primarily because, in the group's view, it would prevent environmental degradation. The group states that a decrease in the human population would prevent a significant amount of man-made human suffering. The extinctions of non-human species and the scarcity of resources required by humans are frequently cited by the group as evidence of the harm caused by human overpopulation."
        Seph
        • 2 Years Ago
        @Dave
        those pro-gay marriage activists must be fans of the movement..
          Spec
          • 2 Years Ago
          @Seph
          Legalizing gay marriage doesn't actually make people gay, Seph. If you are finding yourself tempted by gay sex, it is because you are gay. And that is OK.
          Marcopolo
          • 2 Years Ago
          @Seph
          Spec Complicated issue gay marriage. Main main subject of contention seems to be not the granting of civil rights, than can be addressed by renaming all 'marriages' as Civil Unions, whether homo or hetro-sexual. In this way every one would be considered equal in the eyes of the law. The term (or word) 'Marriage' could be preserved to retain it's traditional and religious meaning, thus preserving the civil rights of those wishing to maintain the traditional and cultural description of their commitment. (without conferring any extra rights or privileges than a Civil Union) . The Civil Union (or similar term) would be the only contract recognized by law. (Not advocating, just suggesting)
          JP
          • 2 Years Ago
          @Seph
          Or just fans of equal rights..
      Letstakeawalk
      • 2 Years Ago
      Love the Onion. Keep 'em coming! Just in case, if someone isn't familiar - here's undoubtedly one of their best: http://members.shaw.ca/rlongpre01/moon_tiny.jpg
      upstategreenie
      • 2 Years Ago
      I have a prius. and I think the video is hilarious. I love the ecocomposter as well for an added ecotouch.
      Marco Polo
      • 2 Years Ago
      I love the concept of 'Mother Nature" ! Or better still 'the Planet' . We are such a lonely species, some humans need to invent wise, or vengeful, anthropomorphic beings to enforce idealism or human 'misbehavior' ! From books about talking rabbits, to righteous beings from other planets, it's terrifying to some humans that we alone are masters of our own destiny. No one else cares about humans, but humans. Animals don't care about the planet, nor does the' planet' ! The planet is not a sentient being. We only care about our environment, because it affects our welfare, and sentiments. Sentiment, like ideology, is a purely human invention. We are the only creature, (yet discovered) to have seized control of our own evolution. Pretty scary stuff for a former Ape ! (and not all that former). As a species, we stand with one foot on the first rung of space exploration and possible colonization, Pretty scary. (more so, for the rest of the universe :). That's our 'destiny' , an ever expanding, ever questing, aggressively inventive, resiliently innovative, species. No matter how many ideologies spring up to limit mankind's expansion, this species was never going to remain at home and hide under the bed ! When the wolf comes to the door, other creatures hide deep in their burrows. Only man kills the wolf, eats wolf stew, fashions a wolf skin suit, and starts shop trading in wolf products, trains some wolves to assist in farming other wolves etc etc .. This not intended to be an argument for or against spiritual belief. That's another dimension. This is intended to be an observation on the nature of mankind as a species, not individuals. Last month, I visited a poor third world country, (resource rich), My companions commented on the terrible slums, with vast piles of rubbish mostly the wrappings and containers of consumer goods. Such observation occasioned the usual orgy of hand-wringing, castigation of 'evil' western companies 'exploiting' the unfortunate, unemployed, slum dwellers. No one suggested that the unemployed slum dwellers should get off their backsides and clean up the piles of rubbish, instead of waiting for the government, or a western aid agency to do it for them! No one cleaned up Germany after war, but Germans ! (with some US help). The PRC, for all its faults and mistakes, (and terrible human suffering) rebuilt the PRC into a world power capable of advancing the majority of it's people into first world living standards, by the efforts of their own people. Environmentalism works best, and achieves the best results when it appeals to human self interest and economic benefit. The best result are achieved when all sectors of the community can benefit. Including the often despised corporate sector, who have the resources and experience to effectively innovate and institute, more environmental practices. Prius is an excellent example of the, practical and ideological, meeting in a successful popular innovation.
        sirvixisvexed
        • 2 Years Ago
        @Marco Polo
        Well said! I feel like its really really really not common American knowledge that 3rd world countries have people who COULD do something about their situation. Care to elaborate a little on that one?
          Marcopolo
          • 2 Years Ago
          @sirvixisvexed
          Ezee, " People on the right say, 'leave the people alone and they will thrive' but will they really? " Yes ! Painfully, and slowly, but when they do, they have the pride in knowing it was their own achievement.
          2 Wheeled Menace
          • 2 Years Ago
          @sirvixisvexed
          Good points ezee.. It is your imperative to thrive or not. Not everyone can be a winner.
          EZEE
          • 2 Years Ago
          @sirvixisvexed
          Improving the human condition (looks up at the author...dammit I clicked on a Sebastian article against my moratorium, dammit!), I can relate something involving white southerners, so I cannot be pointed at and be told I am insensitive. I was driving through the south with a liberal girlfriend (I seem to date them...) and saw a beautiful southern plantation style house that was crumbly, pealing paint, in disrepair, and had a refrigerator and couch on the front porch. I made some derisive comment about the owners of the fine house, to which she indignantly replied that they might be poor, and may not be able to afford to maintain the house. We spotted two of the dwellers, a gigantic woman, and a man with beer. Both smoking. I pointed out that one less pack of cigs a week, and one less six pack per month would allow them to buy two gallons of paint, or more. And they would be healthier. The moral is a a bit complicated, but essentially is cultural. What is important to people? Where are their priorities? What do they consider as moral and honorable? Marco's example of the Germans and Japanese (he did mention Japanese, right?) are good examples. People on the left rely on government to fix stuff, but the government reflects the people. People on the right say, 'leave the people alone and they will thrive' but will they really? In many cases, no.
          Marcopolo
          • 2 Years Ago
          @sirvixisvexed
          sirvixisvexed The problems of the third world are complex. However it's true to say of any society that no one values what isn't earned. Whole countries and societies have been robbed of their opportunity to progress by a combination of 'Cargo cult', unsuitable political philosophies and Western guilt. Self-reliance is a very hard skill to learn. It can't be learned while well-meaning aid agencies, and other paternal organizations interfere with the painful learning process. We (the first world) charitably feed large numbers of people in arid areas, where the locals have through either bad farming practices or over-population reduced to deserts. Are we really helping, or in truth is all our aid simply creating a permanent ecological disaster ? Perhaps, it might be better in long run for that population to perish or adapt. (I can hear the indignant howls already !). In other cases, look at the vast slums of the suburban poor in third world countries. Maybe the only answer is for life to become so hard in the slums, that these unwanted slum dwellers will return home to their villages. Why are public housing projects so poor, dangerous, destitue and disorganized. It's not the buildings that are wrong (although it doesn't help) but the people themselves. Why does a formerly pleasant middle-class (white) neighborhood deteriorate to a drug gang ridden slum once the former population have moved out and been replaced buy an ethnic population. It's not race, not the houses, not incomes, but people. The idea of community and personal responsibility leaves along with the leadership. White liberals (myself included) can be sometimes be too forgiving on underachieving citizens. We take away the repercussions and the incentives to strive selflessly for community pride. Instead, we reward the indolent, the underachievers, those damaging and destroying the quality of life for others. Look around your own city, take an average middle class, well kept apartment block, sell it to the government, and rent it to public housing. Come back in 12 months and the neighborhood will be unrecognizable. What's changed? Leadership, personal responsibility and discipline, along community pride have disappeared. The third world is the same. Corrupt leadership, unsuitable political ideas and endless excuses made for poor performance, make undisciplined, unhappy society. Compare Singapore with the Philippines.
      Ugo Sugo
      • 2 Years Ago
      Indeed, when you are decomposing most of the carbon making up your body is released either as CO2 or methane. So you become a red neck grade polluter. The best solution is indeed getting fat, as you store carbon in your biomass. I wonder if that is the reason why Americans are so fat. Is it the ultimate solution to reverse global warming? ;-)
      Spec
      • 2 Years Ago
      Well, in all seriousness, death ultimately will be nature's solution to the problems we create if we over-populate and over-consume. The only question is whether we will be able to restrain ourselves from allowing the problems to grow until nature begins to implement that solution. So far we are doing OK . . . although nature does break out that solution occasional in parts of the third world. But we are literally quickly burning up the big but finite energy supply nature bequeathed us. We need to figure out other energy supplies before that finite energy supply starts to reduce output.
      upstategreenie
      • 2 Years Ago
      reminds me of SNL skit where the mach five? razor finally had sixteen bl*(des to be closer than ever. and shaved to b*ne basically all bl(*dy.
        sirvixisvexed
        • 2 Years Ago
        @upstategreenie
        Thank you for your censorship. My child will not learn "bone" or "blood" until they're 18....or "blades".... JK I don't have kids! Unless you count baby back ribs.
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