Because there's no way to top this lede, we'll just have to quote the whole thing, from

PEEKSKILL - A 39-year-old city man faces felony charges upstate after apparently not heeding Greyhound's slogan of "Leave the driving to us."

Yep, that's right, the guy stole a bus. On Christmas. (Allegedly.)

But never fear, Andrew Hickey of New York had a commercial driver's license, and apparently he knew what he was doing. After swiping the running bus from a transport center at 4:30am, he managed to drive it about 60 miles before Greyhound officials remotely disabled the bus, using a system that apparently all of the company's buses are equipped with. A spokesman for the transit company tells that stolen buses are "very rare."

The report says the Greyhound in question was worth half a million dollars, but it doesn't seem like the alleged thief was much interested in the bus for its value. He told police that he just needed some wheels to get to a friend's house.

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