• Jan 19th 2010 at 6:58PM
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Lincoln Town Car turned Rolls-Royce Hearse – Click above for high-res image gallery

In this situation you might think we'd be at a loss for words. However, a Lincoln Town Car hearse cut to look like a Rolls-Royce Phantom gets our little fingers fluttering. Sadly, most of what we want to type isn't fit for print. At least the seller's description provides a good deal of comic... something. Have a look:
"Here it is! Open the doors to one of the most money making industries. The funeral business. I had a customer tell me that I should do a RR Hearse. It took me about a year to do it but I am so glad I did. The first funeral we did, the owner of that funeral home was so impressed with the reaction from his customers that he wanted to buy it from me. I did not want to sell it because I have 3 funeral homes wanting to book it almost every day. And they not only book the hearse but they also now book the 6 pack limo for the family from us."
Fair enough. We suppose money is one possible explanation for this sort of you-ain't-fooling-no-one creation is filthy lucre. In fairness, it does possess one killer app. You ever seen a funeral procession going down the street and think to yourself, "I wonder what sex that corpse is?" Wonder no more, as this hearse has blue fog lights for boy stiffs, and pink ones for the (dead) ladies. Here's some more from the seller:
"We went from not doing funerals to doing almost 3 to 5 funerals per week and at $395.00 per 4 hr. funeral for the hearse and $395.00 for the 6 pack limo! You do the math. The other great thing is that 90% of funerals are Monday through Friday. They don't get drunk, no trashing the limo and they are done by mid day. And if they do go over, then it is an aditional $95 per car, per hr."
Straight boo ya! Doing the math, that's nearly $800 per funeral. Pure profit, man. Except for the little part about who in their right mind would want to go to their grave in this thing?!? Oh, and in case you thought a fake Roller is the only hearse your fledgling business will need, click immediately to the back of the gallery to see some more phonies. Finally, in a perverse way we're stoked we finally found a Town Car worse than this one.

[Source: eBay]

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