• Dec 11, 2009
The man in the panda suit is holding an R8 key - Click above to watch the video after the jump

When we saw Henry Rollins speak a few ten years ago, he told a story about a fan who wrote to him with a peculiar problem. Seems the guy is a paramedic and one night they come upon a car crash where a beautiful naked woman is lying on the ground unconscious. They spring into action, get her in the back of the ambulance and begin emergency resuscitation. Now, the guy is alone in the back of the ambulance with the woman, and he can't get over how hauntingly beautiful she is.

And she's not responding. All her vitals were failing and he knows she's not going to make it. As she expires, the paramedic, who had suddenly and quickly developed feelings for her, kisses her on the lips. By the time they reach the hospital, the woman is dead. Trouble is, the paramedic is now completely in love with her. So much so he can't sleep, he can't eat and he's having trouble working.

Rollins said his first reaction was to write back, "YOU SICK $@#!!! GO KILL YOURSELF!" But no, the paramedic's obviously in pain and obviously needs his help. So he thinks about it for awhile and attempts to seek out helpful advice. That night at some awards ceremony he runs into none other than Tom Waits and figures if anyone has some words of wisdom for the poor, lovestruck -- but slightly demented -- paramedic it would be Waits.

Rollins tells him the story and Tom's eyes light up. "You tell him she's haunting him from the grave," Waits says in his gravely trademark baritone. "Tell him she did the same thing to me!" Now a couple of you might be wondering what on earth this story has to do with anything, let alone cars. It doesn't. But it's a fitting accompaniment to the three minutes of randomness in the video after the jump. So if you're into Furries, Ferraris, Audis, fat guys and sexy ladies, have we got a clip for you. Tip of the Panda head piece to Jesse Y!

[Source: Midway Car Rental]



I'm reporting this comment as:

Reported comments and users are reviewed by Autoblog staff 24 hours a day, seven days a week to determine whether they violate Community Guideline. Accounts are penalized for Community Guidelines violations and serious or repeated violations can lead to account termination.


    • 1 Second Ago
  • 28 Comments
      • 5 Years Ago
      I want that night....in my life.
      • 5 Years Ago
      AWESOME!!!!
      • 5 Years Ago
      Anyone else think that bear suit kind of looks like pedobear?
        • 5 Years Ago
        I think that's the point.
        "I don't want any of your candy."
      • 5 Years Ago
      OMG!! Their reference to "Charlie Bit My Finger," seals the deal that this is the best commercial ever! I you don't know what "Charlie Bit My Finger" is, look it up on YouTube, it's awesome!
      Those two cars racing down the street was hot!
        • 5 Years Ago
        Lots of internet memes going on - Pedobear, that youtube vid, a girl is wearing a three wolf moon t-shirt at one point.

        Too heavily edited and overlong, but smart.
      • 5 Years Ago
      3mins of my day well wasted :D
      • 5 Years Ago
      The Fast and the Furryious, anyone?
      • 5 Years Ago
      That was the most pointless piece of marketing communication I have ever seen.
      • 5 Years Ago
      That's a weird badger-like panda suit...
      • 5 Years Ago
      Perfect. At first I was like, let's see more cars. Then I was like no, let's see more Girls....
      nah nevermind. They got it just right.
      • 5 Years Ago
      BORRING AND TOO LONG
      • 5 Years Ago
      hahaha, LOVE your paramedic story! :D :D
      perfect!
      • 5 Years Ago
      I want my 2:50 back.
    • Load More Comments