- Jan 7, 2009
Knight Rider: The Liveblog - Season 1, Episode 10
MIKE AND KITT TRY TO RESCUE A KIDNAPPED FOREIGN AMBASSADOR FROM A TERRORIST IN TIME FOR PEACE TALKS--Mike (Justin Bruening) and KITT (voiced by Val Kilmer) are sent on an endless string of mini-missions by a crazy terrorist in exchange to keep Ambassador Olara Kumali (guest star Vanessa Williams) alive, but they soon realize that they are part of a bigger plan. Trying to outsmart the terrorist, Rivai (Sydney Tamiia Poitier) and a team of FBI agents find themselves in an explosive situation. Meanwhile, Sarah (Deanna Russo) and Dr. Graiman (Bruce Davison) try to fix a sick robot.
Synopsis via Knight Rider Online.
Without further ado, I'll see you after the jump.
Knight Rider Liveblog
Season 1, Episode 10
"Don't Stop the Knight"
January 7, 2009
8:00: We're going to the "exchange point". Blah blah, peace talks, UN ambassador. C-SPAN meets the Shelby Mustang. Now we're waiting for the kidnappers, where an old F-150 sits roadside. Natch.
8:02: Reality alert. The kidnappers sent some UAV/drone to steal Mike's briefcase. KITT gives chase. Like he can catch something that flies. He can't even catch a regular car. Missiles and lasers won't do, says KITT. Mike retreats to the F-150 and answers a phone left there. Kidnapper is immediately annoying.
8:04: Kidnapper threatens to kill ambassador unless Mike cooperates. Yada yada. Truck explodes, but only after the kidnapper tells Mike he'd better run. I guess he missed the class that said murderous kidnappers actually kill people. That would have made this the best reboot episode ever. Here comes the starting...
8:09: Chatty Kidnapper still yakking it up with Mike. Ambassador is wearing an Erykah Badu headwrap, looking forlorn on Mike's super mega Ford Sync phone HUD. Cut to Sarah, who is playing with a robot stolen from Flat Rock assembly.
8:11: Bruce Davison is now talking to the robot. Very exciting. Torres and Carrie talking now. Carrie is concerned because her character is going to die she just read an email from her dad. Carrie thinks something's fishy. Has a bad feeling about this. You don't know the half of it, baby. Kidnapper is former CIA.
8:13: Mike told to get creative. Whether writers got same memo is unknown. KITT in Attack Mode, set Turbo Boost to RICE! Mike boosts into a prison yard, where he busts out an arms dealer. Turbo Boost out. At the Fortress of Suck, they're calling the DOJ.
8:15: Prisoner wants to know all about KITT. KITT gasses him with some insta-sleep stuff. Mike stays awake, calls Chatty Kidnapper, who's pleased that Mike rescued the dude (arms dealer) from prison. Then he tells Mike his day's just begun. 45 more minutes of this crap. In the comments, MemphisNET points out the sleep gas activation protocol was "Nancy Bravo Charlie 4" -- NBC 4. The lameness is without end.
8:20: Mike's scavenger hunt continues. Now he needs some fancy "micro APS" x-ray machine. If Torres and Bruce Davison start talking on Mike's HUD, the windshield'll look like the starting to the Brady bunch. now the ambassador calls to tell mike Chatty Kidnapper has cut off the oxygen to her room.
8:22: More Bruce Davison talking to the robot. Come on. KITT arrives at some research lab to steal the x-ray machine. KITT, of course knows exactly which room it's in. KITT's magic 3D replicator makes mike a janitor x-ray repair guy uniform (offscreen, of course). It even has a MIKE name tag. Mike and the keeper of the x-ray machine are having the world's most boring conversation. Mike successfully walks away with the x-ray. Uh oh, Mike encounters the real x-ray repair guy. Alarm!
8:26: Mike gets tased! Moment of the year. Unlike the taser videos on COPS,however, Mike falls into a magic talking car that drives away under its own power.
8:29: ER Ad. God, how is that still on? We're back. Mike has removed his taser barbs. Arms dealer snoring whilst riding shotgun. Lincoln Navigator appears, because Escalades don't exist in this universe. Mike now needs to get some mysterious box.
8:31: Navigator contains hot Russian chick spy. Bruce Davison now fighting with the robot. He has to be happy he's on the show's hit list. Hank the robot is apparently sentimental. He was saving a news clipping of him and Bruce Davison. Seriously.
8:33: Mike and KITT rendezvous with a trio of hot Russian spy babes. If this was the pilot episode, he'd be talking foursome. Fat arms dealer is scared. Runs. Mike tackles. Blond spy chick has the worst fake Boris and Natasha accent ever. KITT drops those bitches with microdarts. The UAV returns. Billy IDs the Chatty Kidnapper.
8:35: Everyone in the Fortress of Suck is concerned. Mike goes to KITT. His dealer-installed radiation alarm goes nuts. The box Mike's carrying is hot. But not as much as the three darted spy chicks.
8:40: That's handy: KITT's got a radioactive decontamination thing right in the trunk! Science Professor KITT explains that the stolen x-ray can detonate the radioactive material. Kidnapper calls, reminds us that Ambassador Whatsername is dying. She has 20 minutes to live. Now we're in "24" mode -- show has 20 mins left. Torres: "Mike's going in."
8:42: Bruce Davison and WALL-E continue bonding. The denizens of the FoS are worried. They think Mike shouldn't go to the sugar mill, which happens to have an electromagnetic shield protecting a warehouse. General Veers and his AT-ATs will have to come disable the shield generator.
8:45: KITT lasers the UAV, which is apparently indestructible. Mike bails out the driver's door. KITT goes to the warehouse. Chatty Kidnapper is none the wiser. Kidnapper is waiting. Mike approaches, gun in hand, on the sneak tip.
8:47: Mike needs to pick a door. Blatant "Deal or No Deal" pimpage ensues. Unreal. Bad guys with guns arrive. Unfortunately, the bad guys in these shows never pull the trigger.
8:52: Mike pretends he's Jason Bourne, kicks crap out of the bad guys. KITT backs into the warehouse. Chatty Kidnapper wants Mike to get out of the car, only he's off fighting baddies, unbeknownst to CK. Trapdoor. Mike makes a silencer out of a sweatshirt, opens trapdoor, finds Ambassador Badu. KITT annoys Chatty K, who, no lie, yells, "NOBODY SAYS 'HANG ON, PAL" TO ME!" In walks Mike and Ambassador. Carrie and the FBI approach.
8:55: Chatty Kidnapper is talking a lot, of course. He puts a gun on the ambassador. Mike caves, tells KITT to open up. Bad guys take all the scavenger hunt goods. Immediately begin assembling bomb.
8:56: In a great moment in the history of ridiculous things, an FBI guy in Army togs takes down the laser-proof UAV with one shot from an M16. Now Chatty K says that Mike needs to take the bomb in KITT. If KITT goes below 100 mph, the bomb goes off. Wow, that'd make a great movie plot.
8:58: Warehouse . FBI arrives. Mike still driving with the bomb. Chatty K has the ambassador. Booby-trapped door in warehouse. BOOM. See ya, Carrie.
To Be Continued.
Yeah, this'll get renewed. Preview shows a better shot of KARR, mech-suit warrior. I know you're all just dying to know what happens next week. Let's find out together, shall we? See ya then.