And... after a lengthy hiatus, we're back. New Year's Eve marks the return of Knight Rider. It's the 9th episode, there are nine episodes left, and in a few hours we all ring in 2009. Huzzah.

Knight Rider's New Year's resolution is to not suck as much, so starting with next week's episode, they're going to try and make the show better. As if. My New Year's resolution is to watch less Knight Rider, which NBC should make easy for me when it throws dirt on KITT after the February 25th episode.

Tonight's episode (synopsis via Knight Rider Online):

KNIGHT FEVER: KITT may have met his match when he falls victim to a computer virus -- Mike must stop the spread of a computer virus that threatens a total global meltdown. The job gets much harder when KITT is infected. Meanwhile, Mike's jealousy begins to show when Sarah reconnects with an old flame, who may be the key to solving the latest mission.

That ticking sound you hear is the slow, steady countdown to cancellation. Go grab a beverage and meet me after the jump at 8PM Eastern.


Knight Rider Liveblog
Season 1, Episode 9
"Knight Fever"
December 31, 2008
8:00 PM

8:00: Bikers. Trucker. Satellite surveillance. KITT ready to intercept. Activate Hot Import Nights Mode!

8:01: Sarah and Carrie get all sweaty and ninja-like. Some biker in what looks like chain mail and a helmet hijacks the truck. I'm waiting for Vin Diesel and Michelle Rodriguez to show up in Civics to help out.

8:03: Sweaty Sarah shows midriff in the Fortress of Suck's command center. Mike readies an EMP, decides to play stunt driver. Deploys EMP, jacknifes truck. No one wants Mike to approach the truck. Biker dude leader escapes on his old-tech '79 Shovelhead, which is immune to EMP. Mick could give chase in MiraKITT, but then we wouldn't have anything to chat about for the next hour. Somebody tase me.

8:05: Theme music.

Commercials...

8:09: Cue the stock footage: KITT returns to the Fortress of Suck. KITT apologizes for not detecting the Shovelhead. Diagnostics. Arguing.

8:11: Bruce Davison knows that this is a super-duper nanovirus. Now the Harley is apparently an EMP superweapon as the host for this virus. If you're not drinking yet, you ought to probably start now.

8:13: Ooh, the virus killed the Chainmail Biker Mafia. Except for the one who got away.

8:14: Zoe invokes the name of KARR. Pensive Sarah unwittingly says yes to Mike's impromptu swingers party invite. Sarah is freaking over this virus that KITT'll be getting in the next few minutes.

8:16: KITT and Mike take off, looking for the Virus Harley. Virus Harley is spreading the nanovirus to some gas station. The director hits us with a barrage of close-ups of everyone's faces. Super JDM KITT Attack Mode re-engaged.

8:18: Hostile soda machine! KITT laser-beams a pay phone to DEATH. Everyone back in the FoS nods approvingly.

Commercials...

8:22: KITT needs to stop calling Mike "Brosef" approximately yesterday. Billy finds the Harley (which the writers made immune to the virus, you know, because). Mike chases Harley onto some access road. KITT's shields interfere with his ability to give chase. KITT sucks so very, very much.

8:25: Virus jumps onto nearby power lines and starts spreading. Mike hits a wire tower with a "plasma pulse," eliminating the ability of thousands of Californians to watch Knight Rider that evening. I am jealous. Sarah and her dad show up at Gilley's or something.

8:26: The guy they meet at Gilley's has eyes for Sarah. He created the nanovirus. Mike gets the history, gets jealous. Extremely crappy music plays in the background.

8:28: Drink spills. Bar fight coming. Sarah uses her karate. Mike shows up in time to do exactly nothing. The virus finds KITT's Brembos.

Commercials...

8:33: KITT and Dr. Nanovirus speak French to each other. Mike calls him a douche. look who's talking, jackass. Everyone loves Dr. Nanovirus.

8:35: Apparently, the nanovirus used to emit butterfly flatulence or some such thing, but now it's weaponized and evil. Carrie drops the dime on Dr. nanovirus: he's still on government payroll. KITT finds a secret room in the house, which his infared sensors can't penetrate. If the room was in a Ford Edge, he wouldn't be able to catch it either.

8:37: Mike confronts Dr. Nano. He confesses to mutating the virus for loads of money. Which, of course, is the logical thing to do. Carrie and Torres are worried. Carrie wants to kill the virus. KITT lines up a clean shot. Missiles armed! Mike, Carrie, and Bruce Davison run to safety. Dr. Nanovirus...not so much. House goes boom.

Commercials....

8:44: Burning house wreckage. sarah is going to cry for Dr. Nano. Fortress of Suck: Torres is most displeased with the turn of events. KITT tries to play shrink with Michael. Mike suspects that KITT is infected with the virus. KITT thinks it's not serious. Stock FoS arrival footage. Virus jumps into the ventilation system.

8:47: Bruce Davison says maybe it's time to decommission KITT. Dude, the time for that was 8 episodes ago. Consensus: shut KITT down. Uh-oh, VIRUS ATTACK. Zoe takes an axe to the web connection, literally.

8:49: Mike and Sarah take off in KITT, who's now throwing down lines like, "Strap in. It's gonna be a bumpy ride." If only he knew how right he was.

Commercials...

8:53: Virus bedlam at the Fortress of Suck. Sarah asks him to calculate the value of Pi....good grief. Carrie and Torres agree that the Fortress of Suck needs to get self-destructed. And away we go with the self-destruct sequence. KITT goes back to Dr. nanovirus' house. There's the harley. there's the antidote. And if this building was untouched, then Dr. Nano got offed because the dumbass ran back into the house for the antidote he really left in the garage. There's a genius scientist for you.

8:56: Fortress of Suck - only Torres and Bruce Davison remain. Sarah guesses the password for the antidote. KITT is saved. Torres and Carrie stop the self-destruct with a second to go. Dumb Bruce Davison standing right behind them like he's the captain of the Titanic.

8:59: Everyone's sad Dr. Nano's toast. They drive home to the FoS. And I go to get another beer. Happy New Year, everyone.

NEXT WEEK: The reboot begins. We see KITT in attack mode with a cop light bar blazing. He looks like he's doing ceremonial duty at the Woodward Dream Cruise. Oh, and they tease KARR, giant robot version.

See ya next Tuesday.