- Nov 19, 2008
Knight Rider: The Liveblog -- Season 1, Episode 8
Tonight on Knight Rider, the new Mustang has a special guest appearance. Other stuff will happen too, mostly involving bad acting and a dumb plot.
The official synopsis, from NBC:
"Knight of the Zodiac" Mike, KITT and Billy head to Vegas to take on a money laundering ring.
I'm all in. See you after the jump.
Knight Rider Liveblog
Season 1, Episode 8
"Knight of the Zodiac"
November 19, 2008
All times are Eastern.
8:00: Mike kicks the crap out of some dude in a parking lot. Oh no, he played possum and takes off. KITT can generate black ice on demand, and we have a slapstick moment as the dude takes a header. Something about Anchorage, AK is being introduced.
8:03: KITT, movie buff, explains that the whole names-as-colors thing originated in The Taking of Pelham 123. Walter Matthau FTW.
8:04: Subplot -- there's an eco-audit in the KITTcave today. NBC, shove it with your stupid green week.
8:05: Mike, Billy, and KITT go in search of the Zodiac code-name gang, while we get an eco-browbeating at the KITTcave.
8:06: Billy and Mike arrive in Vegas, where they'll probably be unspeakably lame and annoying. Here comes the theme music.
8:10: Billy wants to count cards. Goody-two-shoes KITT reminds that it's illegal. Mike valets KITT...silly KITT vs. valet confrontation countdown begins. KITT gets parked up front as if he's a Lamborghini.
8:12: Mike's being followed. It's CAPRICORN -- code name gang leader. Mike almost kicks more ass.
8:13: Meanwhile, at the Fortress of Suck, the eco-inspector has a history between the sheets with Graiman. In the command center, KR chickdom is monitoring Mike's earwig.
8:14: Mike meets the rest of the What's Your Sign Gang. I would have never guessed that the chick with the rifle was their weapons expert. It's like Ocean's 11, minus the stars and interesting plot. So, like Oceans minus 11.
8:15: Mike starts drinking with his new friends in the Secret Horoscope Lair. Billy makes googly eyes at this blond babe with the healthy topside he meets on the casino floor.
8:16: At the KITTcave, it's Global Warming talking points time, and Graiman shuts this annoying woman up by attacking her epiglottis with his tongue.
8:18: More random talking with Horoscope Leader. They smell a rat with Mike, whose prints don't match the ID. Mike uses KITT to magically prove he can make the most awesome fake IDs ever. Party! Get rich! Yay sucktacular bad guy team!
8:24: Capricorn update for the chicks back at the KITTcave. Billy trying to work his game with Courtney the Cleavage Monster.
8:25: Eco Inspector wants to see KITT, who's in Vegas, setting up the 2010 Mustang cameo. I cringe at the suck.
8:26: Billy has no man instincts, allows Courtney Cleavage to walk away. Going to Zoe for advice. Reading between the lines, Billy is saying something like "I suck and am not a mack." Zoe hooks him up with her room number and info. Zoe's pretty handy after all.
8:28: Courtney has changed into a bikini. And poolside, it's bikini city. Billy and Courtney are bonding. Bikini Courtney wants to hang out. Mike is hanging out with Zodiac Weps Chick, also in bikini. Zoe doing her best to get Billy some action. Billy doing his best to c**k-block himself.
8:30: Not even Billy can screw this up. Bikini Courtney jumps him. Shirtless Mike talking to Hawaiian Shirt Capricorn, who wants to knock over the casino. Isn't there supposed to also be a talking car in this show?
8:35: Everyone trying to rationalize Capricorn's plan to rob the casino where he works. The KITT Crew cares way too much.
8:36: Back to the Fortress of Suck. Eco Interrogator is asking all about KITT's propulsion system. Graiman explains that KITT is so awesome because he runs on unicorn pee and a puppy's unconditional love. Or something.
8:37: Miracle. Billy DID hit that. She's crying. Not good. She's crying because she owes $100,000 in student loans. She should talk to Barney Frank. Maybe he can help. Billy tells her who he is and says he'll help get her money back. It's a Billy bailout.
8:39: Here's the casino heist plot. Capricorn man's real goal is to rip off Mr. Wong, a high-roller staying at the hotel. Everyone gets jobs in this D-movie Ocean's plot. Mike is all like, "WTF" when he learns the heist is today. As if this won't all work itself out.
Commercials. Neff IM's me, "Remember when they said this was going to be like Battlestar Galactica?" I remember. And they lied.
8:45: Back to Vegas. Surprise -- the car at the Win This Car slot machine is a Ford Flex. Billy needs help getting money for Cleavage Courtney. Mike's like, "Dude, she's playing you." Billy's all smitten and blinded by his recent sexytime.
8:47: KITT becomes a Ford Flex. Produces paperwork by way of magic. No one thinks its unusual that the Flex at the slots now has weird red lights on the front bumper. Billy puts up a boatload of cash to try and win Courtney's love. Billy hits on 16. Gets a 5. TV is so fake.
8:49: KITT gets ready to EMP the casino. Blond chick distracts the security guard by bending over. Weps Chick pulls a pair of pistols from her boots. Now its dark and I can't see what's happening. Not that I care.
8:51: Mike takes off. His Astrology Friends figure out he's a good guy. We have a standoff at gunpoint in a warehouse. KITT is not around when needed, as per usual.
Commercials From Jason in the comments: "I love that in the KR universe an EMP knocks out all electronics but
KITT. Now that's realism." Indeed, my friend. Indeed.
8:54: Billy kisses Cleavage Courtney. She loves him. Billy drives off with the slot machine KITTFlex. No one thinks this is odd. Billy summons Pikachu. I mean ATTACK MODE.
8:56: Bad guy talks too much instead of simply killing Mike. Mike gets the jump on him. Even with night vision, Capricorn can't get Mike. Super Rice Mode KITT arrives to save the day. Mike yells, "KITT, XENON!" Blinds bad guy.
8:57: Fortress of Suck. 2010 Mustang -- a red V6 -- impersonates KITT and is apparently the greenest car in the history of the universe. The KITTcave gets a carbon credit. No, seriously.
8:59: Everyone drinks soda and has a good laugh at the end. "What happens in Vegas stays in...KITT." Good grief this show sucks.
BONUS! No more Knight Rider until after the holidays. A needed break for us all. See you after KITTsmas vacation..
UPDATE: Next new episode airs New Year's Eve. Yeah, that'll pull a big rating...