• Sep 24, 2008
Welcome, my friends! Tonight we gather to watch the train wreck that is NBC's Knight Rider, now a weekly series in the wake of the catastrophically bad telemovie that aired back in February. If you've blotted the memory of that debacle out of your brain, feel free to check out the original liveblog for a refresher while you wait for tonight's show to start.

Here's the blurb on tonight's episode, according to my Tivo:

"A Knight In Shining Armor" - A simple package delivery becomes more complicated than it seems when Mike and KITT learn the package is actually a man with top-secret code decryption built into his DNA.

Sounds thrilling, no? The fun begins after the jump at 8PM Eastern.


Knight Rider Liveblog
Season 1, Episode 1
"A Knight In Shining Armor"
September 24, 2008
8:00 PM

All times are Eastern.

Episode available for viewing on NBC's website

8:00:
Here we go. We're at the "Foreign Consulate." Mike Tracer is wearing a James Bond costume.

8:03:
Sarah is in trouble already. Genius.

8:04:
KITT joins the fun. Only there's nothing fun about this so far. KITT knows everything with his magic technology.

8:04:
Sarah is about to get tortured by some guy who graduated head of his class at the Wooden Actors Studio.

8:05:
KITT goes into new attack mode, showing us what the bastard child of SEMA and Hot Import Nights looks like.

8:06:
Mike saves Sarah. KITT is racing to the rescue, underbody neon ablaze.

8:07:
KITT turns into an F-150. The bad guys shoot like my mother. KITT is a Mustang again.

8:08:
A Cobra (helicopter) shoots a missile at our fearless heroes. It is the world's slowest missile.

8:09:
Impact. Something tells me no one dies, as we now go to the starting. At least the da-dum da-dum-da-dum is still cool

8:10:
Commercial break. This is living down to all my expectations.

8:11:
We're back. Everyone is thrilled with KITT's awesomeness. Super napalm deemed "so not good" by some tool in the command center.

8:12:
Some blather about uploading files. KITT is still on fire. Iceman is lecturing Graiman that he can't divert power.

8:13:
Sarah in undies. Mike disrobing now, too. KITT tells Mike to watch the window controls. Hey genius, you're the talking robot car. Disable them.

8:14:
Apparently, increasing speed interrupts KITT's network connection. He sucks.

8:15:
They're bringing KITT in hot! Michael and Sarah have lost consciousness. So, by now, have some viewers, I'd have to guess.

8:16:
Fire's out, everyone but me is concerned that Mike and Sarah might die.

8:17:
Commercial. Make that...Ford commercial #1.

8:20:
Only 40 minutes left!

8:21:
We're back. Everyone is yelling at nerd Billy. Zoe: "That was awesome" No, not awesome.

8:22:
Billy and Zoe are arguing. The audience is fleeing...

8:23:
Now, Mike and Carrie are arguing. Mike is being scolded for losing the package. Carrie has some secret issue with Mike that we'll learn in the second half-hour. More Sarah undressed, which is, so far, the only redeeming quality of the show.

8:25:
KITT is on some turntable with lasers now. Mike gets in KITT, drives onto the tarmac in Washington, D.C. from the plane. Funny, I didn't know D.C. had a desert airport.

8:27:
KITT and Mike try to cram as much plot and exposition into one conversation as possible.

8:28:
Mike finds the package. IT'S A MAN! (like Tivo said)

8:29:
Some Latina babe arrives in a Spyker. Kidnaps "the package."

8:30:
Commercial for "Eagle Eye" is better than the entire first half-hour of Knight Rider. Also, Olive Garden commercial is better than Knight Rider, too.

8:33:
NBC clumsily explains Spykerchick's use of "Papito"

8:35:
This Spyker must have the motor from the pilot's Ford Edge, because KITT is having trouble catching up.

8:36:
Discuss: Jim Rockford Firebird oversteer is cooler than new KITT GT500 oversteer.

8:37:
Mike and Sarah have a complex past. Mike can't remember his past.

8:38:
KITT is playing shrink. Package Man is bald. Spykerchick cuts off his thumb, pushes him out of the car. We go to break. My eyes feel like that guy's thumb right about now.

8:41:
Only 19 minutes to go!

8:44:
Mike gets Package Man. He has to get his thumb back at all costs.

8:44:
Dr. KITT fixes the dude's thumb, and doesn't even ask for an insurance card.

8:45:
Package Man's DNA is the "ultimate cypher." Presumably it unlocks the secret of how NBC approved this crap.

8:47:
KITT in JDM attack mode again. Mike on foot chasing Spykerchick on the subway now.

8:48:
Mike catches Spykerchick. She says, "Dios mio" to remind us she's Latina.

8:49:
Carrie shows up, shoots Mike. Don't tease me, NBC....

8:50:
Commercial break. So, Mike now recovered the package, and he has memory loss about something in Beirut. I think we're supposed to care.

8:52:
Ad for Sunday Night Football reminds us that it's not ALL bad at NBC.

8:53:
Somewhere over the U.S., Mike is alive, but he's "dead" -- you know, like the original Michael Knight. Carrie shooting him was a red herring.

8:53:
More stock footage of the airport. KITT and mike return to base. Mike's past haunts him, as his present haunts us.

8:55: They're shooting hoops at HQ. Apparently, Knight Industries is run out of one of the Real World houses.

8:56:
Michael needs a new name. Dumb porn jokes about the the Hoff's old Michael Long name...this is unbelievably bad. We see where this is all going...

8:57:
KITT spying on the conversations about Mike's mysterious past. Mike and Sarah having a heart-to-heart. He wants to grab a beer. I want to grab, like, ten.

8:59:
"I'm Michael Knight."

9:00:
NBC takes us out with lame chick music.

Verdict:
Horrendous

NEXT WEEK:
Mike and KITT take on street racers!
THE WEEK AFTER THAT:
Cancellation?

I'll be here again next Wednesday, so feel free to join me. My official over/under for the number of episodes before this crapfest gets the axe is 5. Have a good night, folks.


I'm reporting this comment as:

Reported comments and users are reviewed by Autoblog staff 24 hours a day, seven days a week to determine whether they violate Community Guideline. Accounts are penalized for Community Guidelines violations and serious or repeated violations can lead to account termination.


    • 1 Second Ago
  • 71 Comments
      • 6 Years Ago
      There are so many better ways to bring back a campy show, this isn't it. All involved should be in prison with a guy named bubba...
      • 6 Years Ago
      Lol, I have no intention of watching this show, but this "review" cracked me up. I think I will actually look forward to this every week. I hope they keep the show going for awhile just so Mr. Nunez can rip it apart. :)

      And as for the Terminator series...I LOVE the movies, but just cannot get into the show. I'll stick with Lost and maybe Heroes.
      • 6 Years Ago
      After seeing the turbo boost process w/ the KR symbol underneath KITT and the neons in front then changing/transforming into a ghetto f150... I have decided to binge drink until this show can be considered fun to watch.
        • 6 Years Ago
        I almost puked when I saw the Attack Mode.
        • 6 Years Ago
        Alternatively, you can wait until Sarah (Deanna Russo) takes her clothes off. At that point it was quite fun to watch.
      • 6 Years Ago
      Horrible...Horrible...Horrible..The show was totally Horrible!!!
      • 6 Years Ago
      Only thing worse than the show are people who actually think it's good.

      Special effects being better than the original--so what? The writing in this is catastrophically worse than the worse, and that's saying a lot given the cheese-ball 80s writing.
        • 6 Years Ago
        The writing of the show i think is as good if not better, i loved the tension between the super hot asian chick and the geek when she bends over and hes looking at her tail end.
        • 6 Years Ago
        Why sir you are challenging my honor. I challenge you to a duel at high noon tomorrow....
      • 6 Years Ago
      I salute you, Alex Nunez.
      • 6 Years Ago
      I wish KITT's attack mode would have involved shutting off my TV so I didn't have to. I've seen derelicts ramble with more coherence and foresight than that piece of rubbish. I've got an idea for a great next episode: Michael tries to breath in space.
      • 6 Years Ago
      Now I actually want to watch the show and see how bad it can be.

      Seems like George Lucas helped with the dialogue.
      • 6 Years Ago
      To say this show is pathetic is insulting to the word pathetic. Yet like a very bad movie, i want to see where this goes. Wow even the most crappiest TV show is interesting for at least the first five minutes.

      The Old KITT is rolling in it's grave.
      • 6 Years Ago
      I am just sick and tired of all you people who were never alive during the orginal show bad mouthing the new one. I remember the orginal show and this show has alot better special effects. I love the orginal show but to tell the truth this show is alot better and dude you need to stop being so rude about the show. If you think you can do so much better why dont you just make your own internet show version of the knight rider show. the new knight rider is so cool, and the acting is awsome and you are no blogger, my 8year old son can blog better i got a brain fart just reading your posting. I think that you hate american cars and love the japanese rice rockets and for that reason you bash the show, if kitt was a nissan gt-r you would be like having a hardon for kitt.
        • 6 Years Ago
        I was alive during the original ('70s child), and I can tell you with the boldest of confidence that my morning (noon and night) sickness paled in comparison to what this bastardization of my childhood made me feel when I watched it.

        Your knee-jerk ignorance was more entertaining than the new KR.
        • 6 Years Ago
        I've seen every episode of Knight Rider and there's no way in hell this new show is better. Not even compared to the later seasons when things got really retarded.
        The original may have been overly formulaic-where every episode some chick is in trouble cuz of some bad guys and Michael drives up to save the day, but at least the plots almost made sense. And no F-150's.
        • 6 Years Ago
        Born in the mid 80s, but I saw almost every re-run possible.

        Hear/Read me when I say this: The remake insults my intelligence.

        If this was on the Disney Channel, MAYBE I wouldn't whine so much. But if it's aimed at MY age group...shoot, I couldn't help but give the middle finger salute when I saw the excuse for Turbo Mode.
        • 6 Years Ago
        I watched the original show and enjoyed it. I still see reruns of the original show. It beats this new one by far. I drool still over the original show. This new one is a travesty.
      • 6 Years Ago
      Screw it, I'm following the live blog next week, so much better!!!!

      "My eyes feel like that guy's thumb right about now."

      ROFL
      • 6 Years Ago
      I love how they have hot girl get naked within the first 15 minutes. Clearly David Hasselhoff is executive producing this show.
    • Load More Comments