• Aug 28, 2008
Heated seats can be just what the doctor ordered in the middle of winter, but if you're trying to pass on your car-loving gene pool, you may be better off freezing. Scientists studying male fertility have discovered that the proliferation of heated seats raises the temperature of your junk by a full degree Fahrenheit verses sitting in the car without artificially warmed seats. That's enough to cut your chances of reproducing, and it makes us strategically point a fan at close range just thinking about it. Even without electronically warmed seat bottoms, guys that sit in the car for long periods of time raise the temperature of their man parts by a couple degrees above optimal sperm-making levels. Hmmm, just typing "above optimal sperm-making levels" makes us a bit queasy. The cure? Turn off the heated seats, wear boxers, and don't sit in the car for too long at once. OK... lets talk about something else.

[Source: Drive]


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    • 1 Second Ago
  • 37 Comments
      jay
      • 6 Years Ago
      no, Brad the porn spammer only has had sex three times in his pathetic life, and at least two of those were with himself!
      • 6 Years Ago
      SOLUTION:

      1-- ORDER OPTIONAL REFRIGERATED CONSOLE

      2-- STRADDLE IT
        • 6 Years Ago
        One nut per cupholder.
      • 6 Years Ago
      I wonder if the Pope-mobile has heated seats.

      Anyway, if you're really worried about this just buy a slurpee and use nature's cupholder to keep it steady.

      And does anyone know if hot or cold seats maybe arouse a chick? Might be worth getting a luxomobile with chilled seats if it helps.
        • 6 Years Ago
        I can tell you that pretty much any girl who's been in my car in the winter really appreciates the heated seats.

        I can't say for sure if the seats aroused any of them, but I can say that those seats have been used for more than just sitting several times at least. I don't recall having the heated seats on at the time though.
      • 6 Years Ago
      Looks like the reproductive answer is the crotch vent carefully aimed and the seat heater turned to back heat only.
      • 6 Years Ago
      Raise the temperature of your "junk"?! Are you for real, a whacko jacko or just plain over do?
      • 6 Years Ago
      Love the fact that on a car site, this article has the terms 'boxer,' 'parts,' and 'junk' and none of them refer to automobiles..
      • 6 Years Ago
      Wimps all of you !
      FEW
      • 6 Years Ago
      man parts? lol, u mean balls?
        • 6 Years Ago
        @FEW
        I THINK THEY MEAN THEIR MASSIVE SWEATY TESTICLES.

        Because we all dont know what they are talking about.
      pelhambay
      • 6 Years Ago
      i was taking my grandma to the post office last winter with the seats on...the heat caused her sphincter to relax unexpectedly and she pooped herself. that really ruined the day, i tell ya. i still can't get the stain out.
      • 6 Years Ago
      Looks like new labels will be printed out..kinda like for airbags. Wonder what verbiage they'll put?

      "Warning. Prolonged use will heat your balls."
        • 6 Years Ago
        More like: "Surgeon General's warning: heated seats such as those equipped in this vehicle have been shown to reduce your counts of that which much not be named. Please consult your physician for additional details."

        At which point we can expect the Catholic church to charge in and claim this is a form of abortion.
      • 6 Years Ago
      On the opposite side of the scale, I drove a Buick Lucerne Super with air cond seats and my "parts" stayed a VERY comfortable temperature for a 4-hr trip. If that option is available on any vehicle I'm looking at, I will buy it.
        • 6 Years Ago
        I agree. But I don't want kids. So they can waste my money, for what? food? clothes? water? yeah right.
        • 6 Years Ago
        No kidding. I rode in a friend's Lincoln Aviator, and although I thought that was a gimmicky option, I must say that air-conditioned seats are *very* comfortable on a hot day.

        I think a lot of people have a part of their body that greatly influences their overall body temperature - for my girlfriend, if her knees get cold, her whole body is cold - and for me, I guess that part is my nutsack.
      • 6 Years Ago
      kids or heated seats? heated seats!
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