• May 21st 2008 at 3:29PM
  • 41
Hot on the heels of the recent brandtag exercise that saw BMW drivers labeled as a-holes (and a lot of explanations and justifications in the comments), we have this classified ad from an M3 owner in Peoria, Arizona. Its starts off rather plainly, with a rundown of the aftermarket components with which the seller has graced.

And then the listing takes a left turn and heads straight for Mars when the seller writes "This car has gotten me laid so much it is ridiculous." After that, you get a rundown of his success with women, copious use of the word "pimp" as both noun and adjective, his workout routine and testosterone regimen, his success with women, tidbits on his "killer" anatomy, instructions on how to become "a Jedi pimp," and more of his success with women. And in case you didn't realize it, he states explicitly: "I'm a winner." A few subtle clues dropped here and there in the description reveal that the owner is parodying Brucie from Grand Theft Auto IV, but you wouldn't know it if you've never played the game.

We at Autoblog have a few questions: Who is this ladies' man they call John Connor? With the miraculous powers of this car, why isn't it at auction with Bonham's or RM? And what do they put in the water in Peoria, AZ? In the mean time, we're going to add "jedi pimp" to BMW's brandtag to save you the trouble. Thanks for the tip, Kirk!

[Source: AutoTrader]

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    • 1 Second Ago
      • 7 Years Ago
      This is pretty funny after the spats in the comments on yesterday's brandtag thing.

      Clearly, this is helping BMW's image. hehehe...
      • 7 Years Ago
      It's a joke kids -


      A guy on an NSX site did it for giggles.
        • 7 Years Ago
        I see how this is a joke... but I don't understand why the guy is so surprised people aren't getting it. I've never played GTA4, so I would have NEVER gotten that joke. And I'm sure there are a lot of others in the same boat just thinking "WTF is wrong with this guy?"

        And with the things I've seen 'round the tubes, it would not strike me as incredibly surprising if there was someone who posted this ad for real.
      • 7 Years Ago
      Whoa, I guess I had better dump my desire to have a BMW. No way I can live up to being a jedi pimp.
      • 7 Years Ago
      "50k service done at 65k miles"


      But people who dont play GTA4, well, this is straight from it. Character named Brucie

      • 7 Years Ago
      Now THAT was a good solid laugh! The gaming references aside, its still funny.

      I respect BMW's as cars, I really do, but some of their owners are just absurd. I think my personal favorite BMW moment goes back to 1996. I owned a then year old 95 Buick Roadmaster Estate Wagon (LT1-powered of course). Some guy in a brand new (think still has temp plates) E35 BMW 5-something (it wasn't the M, but a lower trim) with a manual pulls up next to me at a stoplight and revs his engine at me, clearly trying to impress the ditzy blonde in his passenger seat with an "easy kill" in his new race car. It was time for a go-on-green classic American stoplight drag, with an upset ending. Between his inability to drive that car and the LT1's then-prodigious (and unexpected in a big wagon) power I easily shot several cars ahead of him and never looked back. At the next stop light he just looked at me like "there's no way in hell..." with his blonde friend giggling at him, obviously amused by the recent turn of events. I yelled "all stock" to him out the window, which was true. He jackrabbited off the line when it went green, but I didn't give chase. I'd proven my point. Besides which, I had a right turn in 3 blocks and I wasn't about to be delayed on his account.
        • 7 Years Ago
        You are so cool and I believe every word of your story. I wouldn't have believed it if you had left in the part where the hot blonde leaves the dorky bimmer guy at the next light and gets into your american muscle badass machine so good for you for leaving that piece out. I bet it was in the original version of the story though.
        • 7 Years Ago
        Make that E34 5-series
      • 7 Years Ago
      People do get this is a joke? Someone took a friend's car and just owned him on autotrader.
      • 7 Years Ago
      Yeah!!! Can''t guarantee the success but it is the first step!!! I can't get enough. The funny thing is that this guy believes his own story.
      • 7 Years Ago
      Haha, I have plenty of friends in M3's and they act the exact same way..."Dude *points to girl* I am so going to hit that"

      What I have always wondered is what do my fellow auto bloggers think of Aston owners? Good, bad...or BMW bad?
        • 7 Years Ago
        Aston owners are like all those half-bald (and in denial) Miata owners, except they live permanently in their corner office as opposed to their corner cubical.
      • 7 Years Ago
      50k service at 65k miles is OK. He is referring to inspection II which is often called the 50k service, but on cars that are not driven hard you can make it to 65k on that service depending on what the on board computer states, it is based on fuel consumption, and involves a rebuild of the valves. And before you start going wtf a valve job at 50k miles!!! Does your engine put out over 100hp a liter natural aspirated and rev to 8k rpm all day long?

      • 7 Years Ago
      It's to self promoting that I tend to think it's fake just to appeal to potential buyers and keep a car ad from going stale.
      • 7 Years Ago
      Nice supra in the garage btw
      • 7 Years Ago
      its sad people buy BMWs just to get laid. when i buy a BMW, itll be for the superior driving capabilities they all have.
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