Truck drivers in the great phallic state of Florida can kiss their Truck Nutz good-bye after getting the shaft from their state government. The state senate decided that adorning a hitch with a set of bull clock-weights should be punishable by a $60 fine, though the vote was far from unanimous. Sen. Jim King, (R-Jacksonville) actually owned a set before his wife insisted the truck be emasculated, and the adept politician was on record calling the genital display "an expression of truckliness." If I lived in Florida, that guy would have my vote.
It kills us that people can talk on the phone while putting on makeup or eating a cheeseburger, but Truck Nutz are considered a distraction worthy of a substantial fine. And how in the hell are the cops going to keep a straight face when they have to approach a car and say "Excuse me sir, but do you realize there are testicles hanging from your bumper?" Get that little conversation on tape and you've got an instant YouTube classic. Thanks for the tip, Stephen!
[Source: Tallahassee Democrat]
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 5)
turbo-quattro @ Apr 21st 2008 11:38AM
wow, its quite clear that Florida has it's priorities in line.
PapaWhiskey @ Apr 21st 2008 4:21PM
Hey Chris Shunk...it's painfully eveident that you are incredibly selfish, totally insensitive, and morally bankrupt.
When I first saw the trailer hitch adornment I was pissed off. Why? Do you walk around with your balls hanging out of your pants?!?!?
Secondly, do you want children to see that? That's no different than a flasher exposing himself at a elementary playground.
Thirdly, when my wife saw it, she was not only offended, disgusted, and frightened (a lot of female rape victims out there).
Brent @ Apr 21st 2008 5:10PM
hey PapaWhiskey,
What do you do when you see a bull or any other animal with testicles? I agree that 'truck nutz' aka bull testicles are a rather childish and stupid way to convince one's self of one's own manliness, but how can you stop at this. There are other symbols of masculinity, virility and/or aggressiveness out there. If you must might I suggest those corny barb wire bicep tattoos.
Leaf @ Apr 21st 2008 5:09PM
PapaWhiskey:
Hint: THEY'RE FAKE!!!
A flasher exposing himself at a playground is a clear and present danger to children... a decoration on a car is NOT!
Sorry about your wife, but honestly... frightened? They're truck nuts, not an M16 fer cryin out loud. Is the truck going to rape someone? Pull your head out of the sand.
I don't even like the things! I think they're ugly and hopelessly macho. But damn, just because we don't like something, doesn't mean the government should burn tax dollars deciding it's offensive for us. THAT, my friend, is offensive. As if there are no greater problems in Florida than truck nuts. Ridiculous!!!
a-train @ Apr 21st 2008 5:42PM
As a Floridian myself and a former state-of-Florida employee who left due to what has been dubbed 'Amendment 1 cutbacks' -I can not believe this is actually being debated on the Congressional Floor! People are losing their livelihoods due to a lack of funding and these guys invade personal rights EVEN MORE than they already have to say that truck nutz are a no go. As already stated, clearly these jack asses have their priorities in order.
eric1589 @ Apr 21st 2008 9:04PM
i cant believe all these douchebags that are saying things like:
'thats offensive"
how do i explain them to my kid"
1. your a tool
2 you dont have to explain them to your kid.
if you dont want your kid to see a FAKE pair of testicles, then why dont you go around castrating every animal on the planet.
i think some people just need to take their bibles, shove them up their @$$es, and lock themselves in their rooms so they dont ever come across anything that might offend or confuse them.
on second thought... kill yourself and your kids. the world is FAR better off without people like you reproducing.
Zane @ Apr 22nd 2008 2:22AM
PapaWhiskey, do you go about covering the testicles of every animal that you see? Try covering the balls of a Doberman or Rottweiler and see what he'll do.
If you're that scared of your children looking at balls and going all confused, you're just leading them down the path of wrong sexual education. Imagine what would happen when they're sexually active and want to know more about life in general. Gosh, I have no kids and am more mature than you are.
If your wife is that scared in real life (wow! I'm farkin amazed!), send her to the desert. Every inhabited place on this planet has its share of rapists, wankers, coke dealers and what not.
NOreasonY @ Apr 21st 2008 11:41AM
although i think those truck nutz are kinda gross...i still wouldnt pull people over for them....thats just retarded....id rather just laugh at them
Cameron @ Apr 21st 2008 11:50AM
I agree that they are stupid, but let idiots point themselves out if they want.
These are just an easy way of seeing who justifies their manhood with their personal belongings.
fm @ Apr 21st 2008 2:29PM
I agree. If you have those on your truck then you're a douchebag.
That said we haven't outlawed being a retarded moron, so why take action against brass balls?
I think it's got to do with people not wanting kids to see those (cause they look like a 90 year old's scrotum... and that's never a joyfull sight).
Ben @ Apr 21st 2008 11:42AM
Are there trailer hitches that look like penises? That would be awesome! ;)
Rususeruru @ Apr 21st 2008 1:36PM
Dildo?
Randy @ Apr 21st 2008 3:55PM
Why would that be awesome?
Seoultrain @ Apr 21st 2008 11:43AM
There will always be those who are offended by everything... which kind of offends me.
TyWright @ Apr 21st 2008 11:44AM
I feel like I'm reading The Onion. :D
Bryan Riddle @ Apr 21st 2008 11:44AM
that would only make sense if they were a rare sight and thus noteworthy and distracting. but they aren't
Kookr @ Apr 21st 2008 11:48AM
Man I've been through many of those truck nutz enforcement zones! LULZ
Herkimer @ Apr 21st 2008 11:51AM
Ok Guys,
--I don't particularly mind them (freedom of expression and all that.)
However, what the heck am I supposed to tell my four-year-old when she asks about them? lol!
I guess, if it were up to me, I'd rather not have these things on the road because of her.
Rocketboy @ Apr 21st 2008 12:48PM
"Some people are idiots. Some people are proud of being an idiot. And that, is how they show it."
Mez Jr @ Apr 21st 2008 1:23PM
Dude, i'm sick of the "how do I explain that to my 4 yr old" legislation, or excuse for being offended.
If you don't know how to talk to your kid, thats a YOU problem. Not a problem for the government to take on.