• Apr 21st 2008 at 11:28AM
  • 72
Truck drivers in the great phallic state of Florida can kiss their Truck Nutz good-bye after getting the shaft from their state government. The state senate decided that adorning a hitch with a set of bull clock-weights should be punishable by a $60 fine, though the vote was far from unanimous. Sen. Jim King, (R-Jacksonville) actually owned a set before his wife insisted the truck be emasculated, and the adept politician was on record calling the genital display "an expression of truckliness." If I lived in Florida, that guy would have my vote.

It kills us that people can talk on the phone while putting on makeup or eating a cheeseburger, but Truck Nutz are considered a distraction worthy of a substantial fine. And how in the hell are the cops going to keep a straight face when they have to approach a car and say "Excuse me sir, but do you realize there are testicles hanging from your bumper?" Get that little conversation on tape and you've got an instant YouTube classic. Thanks for the tip, Stephen!

[Source: Tallahassee Democrat]

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    • 1 Second Ago
      • 7 Years Ago
      Folks.... Stand Up For Your Rights!

      Regardless of what you feel about our products, each of you should stand up for your rights. The biggest complaint I have heard from the legislators who want to ban these products (in Virginia and in Maryland) are that mom's and dad's don't want to have to explain to the kids "what those things are hanging from the back of that truck". The problem isn't what the kids are seeing, the real problem is this new era of parents who think they have to shelter their kids from everything, primarily because they are too damned lazy to be REAL PARENTS and explain to their children exactly what those things are. If you dont like them, then explain to your children that mom and dad dont necessarily agree with what that person is doing but this is AMERICA and they have their right to do it.

      And to the parents who dont want to be real parents, then keep watching your Dr. Phil and Oprah shows and continue to blame everyone else for your lack of parenting skills!

      See our nuts at http://www.mistercojones.com
        Don't be Gay
        • 4 Years Ago
        What a clown you were on here, just trying to sell some product. What's questionable about your worthless product is the intent. The people who buy these things are people that don't give a **** about those around them. Because it lines your pockets, you act like by purchasing your piece of trash accessory, people are god-blessedly excercising thier rights as Americans. The arguement that you people make about how it's "seen in nature" is full of holes too. As I said, it has everything to do with intent. If a dog walks downa sidewalk nobody runs up to scope out its hindquarters, but when your following a pickup truck on the highway Its kind of hard not to notice the oversized, brightly colored genitals swinging on the back of it. I guess you feel otherwise, but I for one get pissed when I feel that someone is getting off at my and my families expense by shaking testicles in our faces. It makes me want to simply kill the person driving that car or truck for "exercising his right to be a vile human being" with no regard for anybody else or their families on the road. If these make you laugh so damn hard, then hang them from your rearview so you can stare at them but keep them away from people that dont want to get stuck behind you.
          M van Velthuijsen
          • 3 Years Ago
          @Don't be Gay
          i know im late to this party, but something is seriously wrong with you if a pair of METAL nuts hanging from a non living truck or car can make you wanna kill someone... and it almost seems that you arn't able to look away because they are bricghtly coloured and moving (lesser animals tend to get angry when something bright keeps moving in front of them ). in my humble opinion, you probably shouldnt be driving at all. seriously.. to some degree america and some americans , including you, should just chill. ( im from the Netherlands )
      • 7 Years Ago
      wow, its quite clear that Florida has it's priorities in line.
        • 7 Years Ago
        hey PapaWhiskey,
        What do you do when you see a bull or any other animal with testicles? I agree that 'truck nutz' aka bull testicles are a rather childish and stupid way to convince one's self of one's own manliness, but how can you stop at this. There are other symbols of masculinity, virility and/or aggressiveness out there. If you must might I suggest those corny barb wire bicep tattoos.
        • 7 Years Ago
        As a Floridian myself and a former state-of-Florida employee who left due to what has been dubbed 'Amendment 1 cutbacks' -I can not believe this is actually being debated on the Congressional Floor! People are losing their livelihoods due to a lack of funding and these guys invade personal rights EVEN MORE than they already have to say that truck nutz are a no go. As already stated, clearly these jack asses have their priorities in order.
        • 7 Years Ago
        i cant believe all these douchebags that are saying things like:
        'thats offensive"
        how do i explain them to my kid"

        1. your a tool
        2 you dont have to explain them to your kid.

        if you dont want your kid to see a FAKE pair of testicles, then why dont you go around castrating every animal on the planet.

        i think some people just need to take their bibles, shove them up their @$$es, and lock themselves in their rooms so they dont ever come across anything that might offend or confuse them.

        on second thought... kill yourself and your kids. the world is FAR better off without people like you reproducing.
        • 7 Years Ago

        Hint: THEY'RE FAKE!!!

        A flasher exposing himself at a playground is a clear and present danger to children... a decoration on a car is NOT!

        Sorry about your wife, but honestly... frightened? They're truck nuts, not an M16 fer cryin out loud. Is the truck going to rape someone? Pull your head out of the sand.

        I don't even like the things! I think they're ugly and hopelessly macho. But damn, just because we don't like something, doesn't mean the government should burn tax dollars deciding it's offensive for us. THAT, my friend, is offensive. As if there are no greater problems in Florida than truck nuts. Ridiculous!!!
        • 7 Years Ago
        Hey Chris Shunk...it's painfully eveident that you are incredibly selfish, totally insensitive, and morally bankrupt.

        When I first saw the trailer hitch adornment I was pissed off. Why? Do you walk around with your balls hanging out of your pants?!?!?

        Secondly, do you want children to see that? That's no different than a flasher exposing himself at a elementary playground.

        Thirdly, when my wife saw it, she was not only offended, disgusted, and frightened (a lot of female rape victims out there).
        • 7 Years Ago
        PapaWhiskey, do you go about covering the testicles of every animal that you see? Try covering the balls of a Doberman or Rottweiler and see what he'll do.
        If you're that scared of your children looking at balls and going all confused, you're just leading them down the path of wrong sexual education. Imagine what would happen when they're sexually active and want to know more about life in general. Gosh, I have no kids and am more mature than you are.
        If your wife is that scared in real life (wow! I'm farkin amazed!), send her to the desert. Every inhabited place on this planet has its share of rapists, wankers, coke dealers and what not.
      • 7 Years Ago
      For the love of god we must protect the children! PROTECT THE CHILDREN!!! We musnt let the children be exposed to fake testiculars!
      • 7 Years Ago
      There goes my plan to market stick-on boobies to VW bug owners!
      • 7 Years Ago
      Holy ^!#$^%$^%#$!

      I'm packing up & moving to South Carolina, where its ok to hang my Nutz!

      What Senator or Assemblyman proposed this stupid law, someone should email him the link to this blog, so they can see how stupid they are.
      • 7 Years Ago
      I actually hate the truck nuts, I think they're stupid but this actually makes me want to buy some and drive around Florida just to piss off the morons who made this law. Stop wasting time regulating people's privacy and freedom and start actually doing something to fix the mess we call government. If the US did that on a state and federal level maybe we'd actually get somewhere.
      • 7 Years Ago
      Is it considered a "moving violation" if they are actively swinging?
        • 7 Years Ago
        This is obviously a case of discrimination!

        It may not be as subtle as a rainbow sticker, but it's obvious that these people need to declare their love of testicles.

        Florida is targeting gay people. It's wrong!

      • 7 Years Ago
      Reminds me of a scene in the Simpsons Movie.

      Police Chief Wiggum: "Stop, in the name of American squeamishness!"
      • 7 Years Ago
      Is that a Chevy Uplander or whateverthehell in that picture? That vehicle is one of the last "trucks" someone needs to attach balls to. Maybe a vagina?
        • 7 Years Ago
        Wow. An uplander? I guess you don't see the big red GMC in the front huh? It's an Envoy.
      • 7 Years Ago
      I heard about the rednecks
      Who hang their nuts on trucks
      But what does this really tells us
      About these hockeypucks?
      I think they're quite willing
      To bend and drop their pants
      to reenact a scene
      From Deliverance.
      • 7 Years Ago
      I feel like I'm reading The Onion. :D
      • 7 Years Ago
      You have to understand the special interest group behind this legislation. It is Husbands of Female Cops (HOFC). If you read the actual legislation you will find that female officers can write $120 ticket, thus giving an incentive to police forces to have their female officers perform the emascualtion.

      Why would they do this? According to the group's spokesman, Mr. Bobbet, having their wives emasculate other men all day "increases the odds that we get to keep our own that night."

      Freeking special interest...
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